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Poetry
Lunge at lunch
By Steve_K
04 April 2008
This concerns 2 filipino seamen, one was a good man, the other was crazy. It was my second trip as Captain when the following incident took place. The crazy man stabbed the good man because he thought that he was planning to steal a photo of his girlfriend. This was not the case. I felt guilty that I hadn't taken heed of the warning I received about him a few days before the incident. It happened in port and they got him to hospital just in time. 

The floor was sticky and red

The smell like iron or earthy soil

And he lay there bleeding


I did my damnedest

Telling him crude jokes 

Praying him out of sleep


The culprit hand bound 

And laughing in the corner

I asked him why he’d done it


He grinned and spat

He was not all there

At this point they arrived


To this day 

I can still feel the hot blood

As my left hand pushes

To keep it inside of him


And he, the grinning villian

Is in a mental home in Manila


Reviews
Hey, Steve
Written by beatricelouise (215 comments posted) 3rd April 2008
You managed to work past tense and present tense well.  
Good job!  
 
I felt, smelled and saw the blood of the victim. Thank God the villain finally got help or there would have been many victims. For that you can be thankful.  
 
bealou :eek

Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 3rd April 2008
I'm amazed at your experiences. There must be many tales you can tell, travelling the world on a ship as its captain. This reads almost like a scene out of a movie. I'm glad the good man lived, and you don't have a horrible ending to remember. I like the way the poem ends - short, succint. I can feel your cold disdain for the mad man - his madness is no excuse. I'm fascinated by the mad man though. How does one get that way??? I guess now you screen people with extra care. I hope you will tell us more sea tales. (What happened to your fruity poem? I was very puzzled by it.) 
 
Mia 8)

Written by punchy (535 comments posted) 4th April 2008
Great read. Wow you've seen a few things haven't you,how exciting.More like this please x
Many thanks for your comments...
Written by Steve_K (57 comments posted) 4th April 2008
Many thanks for your comments. Well Mia, you ask how one gets that way? I think the isolation can get to one. I was on a VLCC which is a supertanker, the largest ships in the world (mine was 360m long!). It was a set route from Basra, Iraq to Long Beach, California and I was onboard for 4 months. In that time I didn't set foot off of the ship. The Filipino crew are onboard from 9-12 months! So perhaps it may have been something to do with that. The crazy guy was fine up to about a week before the "incident" and then he freaked out! That only happened 2 years ago when I was 31 and believe me, something like that you don't forget very easily :sigh
Mia..
Written by Steve_K (57 comments posted) 4th April 2008
ps:didn't like that "fruity" poem, so I virtually tore it up. It just seemed awkward and told an uninteresting story. Thanks though ;)

Written by Phil (6959 comments posted) 4th April 2008
This creates a very immediate picture and feel. Successful for it. 
 
Phil

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