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Poetry


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On the Beach

By Steve_K

05 April 2008

This is about an MP, a landlord, who represented my area in the 1600's and was driven from the land due to his extortionate rates and cruel evictions. He fled for Tobago but before he left, he was reputed to have buried a chest full of gold (his family fortune) somewhere on his land. I still haven't found it though!

The night bore down on him

Breathing on his back

He dug into the clayed soil

Till he hit the shaley rock

His boots sank in mud

As he heaved the heavy box

Into the dragons lair of regret

He cried on the last shovel of soil

They say the place is haunted

The yellowed grass

Where once stood a house

Perhaps it’s the same in Tobago

But a little hotter

Reviews

Written by mia_ms_kim (891 comments posted) 4th April 2008

The last two lines - are you implying the man is in hell? This is not a comment on this poem, but I noticed how you write so differently in your poems and in your fiction. I sound pretty much the same whatever I write. But your Quietus is almost stoic, even terse at times with quirky humour. Your poems are full of immediate and urgent feelings, one can almost smell it. I wonder what you can write for fiction if you switch the mode...

Mia :roll

Written by beatricelouise (202 comments posted) 4th April 2008

So well done! Good word choices. I like the feel of this poem. It works for me.

Written by punchy (372 comments posted) 5th April 2008

I really liked " into the dragons lair of regret".
Great piece again, everything you write seems so believable, as though you were there which invites the reader to to really get a feel for it.
Nice one x

Changing emotions
Written by msebastian08 (8 comments posted) 7th April 2008

I felt the three stanzas moved from one emotion to another...the desperation of the first shifting to the loss and regret of leaving in the second and finally detatchment, almost a wry smile in the last stanza. Interesting to see how your choice of words and I guess the way you evoke a changing pace emphasises this.

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