Today people can spellcheck their work from their computers. When I was a child we just had to learn to spell, and reading helps. When I was a teacher I had a special way of ensuring that my students learnt their words. I would hound them. What do other teachers do? To put writing on Great Writing with spelling mistakes, and without a capital letter to start a sentence or a full stop at the end often means that Can't Be Bothered and Couldn't Care Less has been around. This poem is just about being careless with our English language. I think children will like it, and I know they like the names of the two characters because I've raised smiles.
Said Can’t be Bothered to Couldn’t Care Less:
"What does it matter if my poem’s a mess?
As long as my readers show it acclaim
Why on this earth should I feel any shame?"
"What? I use a spellcheck? Use one yourself –
Look! My dictionary’s unused upon my shelf.
A new sentence starts with a capital letter?
Try using none, you’ll find that’s better."
"What’s an apostrophe? Some kind of drug,
A cocktail, new dance or a little black bug?
It’s called punctuation? You must think I’m mad!
Well, it surely must be a new fangled fad."
"Full stops finish sentences? Well, whatever next?
The way that I do it is clearly the best.
Literacy classes? You’re well behind times.
No, i’ll continu to rite wot i lyk in me rimes."
Copyright 2008
www.whiteheadm.co.uk
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Written by Brett (482 comments posted) 5th April 2008 |
Point well made, Josie. I don'y know if you are aware, but in your final line there's the odd typo or two.
Cheers |
Ha Ha
Written by Josie (2496 comments posted) 5th April 2008 |
| It was meant to be a joke! Well spotted that man! Thanks Brett. |
Written by Brett (482 comments posted) 5th April 2008 |
Computers are all well and good for using italics and bold print, but where's the sarcasm key?
But I like this a lot, thought you had lost the meter on the second line of second stanza, but upon rereading I think you are right.
Cheers |
Written by Phil (6393 comments posted) 5th April 2008 |
Won't/can't, whatever.
I've never quite understood the lack of punctuation in poetry - you wouldn't get away with it in any other genre - all it does it add or clarify meaning. Perhaps there's my answer - some poets seem uninterested in meaning - or at least communicating it. On the other hand, I have read unpunctuated pieces that I have enjoyed very much. I think it depends on the skill of the writer. To write successfully without takes far greater skill than most who attempt it possess.
I'm firmly in the: as a general rule, it should be punctuated, camp.
Well put Josie.
The way the poetry section seems to be reactive - I expect to see a few unpunctuated pieces very soon. The majority, I won't like.
As for spelling and apostrophes, we all make the odd slip up, but some are pretty appalling.
Thancks 
Phil |
Written by Josie (2496 comments posted) 5th April 2008 |
| Phil: I have been a college lecturer all my life, and the teaching of typewriting was one of my main subjects. The layoug of poetry came into the RSA III examination, which is A level or higher standard. The layout of poetry for examinations was the same all over the world, and I taught in Canada also and it was exactly the same. Capital letters were what they asked for at the start of each new line, whether it was a new sentence or not. Full stops, commas, apostrophes were not omitted. The poems had to be well positioned on the page, in single line spacing with a double turn up between paragraphs. So, to my eye, poems typed in double line spacing, with small letters at the start of the lines, and no clear verses, are offensive to my eye. Even worse is the missing out of punctuation, for it is necessary to make sense of what is written. If I have to read something three times because I am not sure where one sentence ends and the next one starts, then I have lost the thread of what the writer is saying, and what good is that? If it has been put on GW like this, and also there are apostrophes either missed out or put in the wrong place, and with spelling mistakes, I usually won't review it, for I feel that the writer is both Can't Be Bothered and also Couldn't Care Less - so why should I bother to waste my time writing: "I loved your poem" (when I feel that it is careless?) I am especially offended when poems or stories are put on the children's pages with mistakes etc in them, because young people are still learning what good English should be. End of lesson. |
Whoops
Written by Josie (2496 comments posted) 5th April 2008 |
| You all knew I meant "layout" didn't you? ha ha Just seeing if you were all paying attention as I am sure you realized! |
Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 5th April 2008 |
Made me laugh  so good to see a poem in praise of spelling and grammar rather than denigrating them...I'm a big fan myself. |
why?
Written by patterjack (1067 comments posted) 5th April 2008 |
Capital letters were what they asked for at the start of each new line, whether it was a new sentence or not
This is a piece of pedantic nonsense
patterjack |
because
Written by fellpony (1507 comments posted) 5th April 2008 |
| "Poetry Books" were traditionally laid out thus, and thus shall ever be. Of course. RSA exams are (certainly they WERE) about obeying the rules, though in some areas they are now more flexible. |
Nice one Josie!
Written by msebastian08 (8 comments posted) 5th April 2008 |
Well sometimes I wonder...if txt msg is the lingua franca, who are we elitist writers or academics (yes me too) to say what is right? Then I think well txt is ok for those who 'get it' but for the older ones and to make sure everyone understands the 'official' language we need that standard approach.
So: nys1 JoC but I likes an occasional semicolon ta v mch and lines and rhythm and structure are part of the discipline of poetry. I sez! |
patterjack
Written by Josie (2496 comments posted) 5th April 2008 |
| The Royal Society of Arts was definitely the leading examination board for business studies,, and they laid down the rules for the typing of documents, which, if not adhered to would have resulted in students losing marks in exams. The same layout of documents was adopted by all examining bodies within the English speaking countries of the world, and I taught in Vancouver also and it was exactly the same as in Britain. It had to be like this, naturally. If a student had studied in London but then went to live in America and took examinations there, the procedure had to be the same, which is quite understandable. I was a teacher of these subjects and therefore I had to conform to the rules of these examining boards I am afraid. It was no more pedantic than stipulating that the spelling of "accommodation" be the same in England as in Australia or America. That was how it was. |
Applied to poetry
Written by patterjack (1067 comments posted) 5th April 2008 |
... the isnistence on a capital to begin each line remains pedantic nonsense.
For one thing it emphasises end stopping -- so waht happens then to enjambement ?
Punctuation is an aid in understanding the meaning of prose and poetry , but such arbitrary rules as quoted smack of literary dictatorship which rules out many great pieces of writing .
patterjack |
Angry
Written by patterjack (1067 comments posted) 5th April 2008 |
Hence my typo s
patterjack |
Written by Josie (2496 comments posted) 5th April 2008 |
| Ha ha - I will definitely let you off that Brian as I made one also. I can quite see what you mean, but, like everything else in life, someone must have sat down at a table and drawn up a list of rules for everything, and I was not there then. I only had to follow them, and if I had told my students to just start their lines with small letters if they wanted to, they would have been dismayed to find that marks had been deducted by examiners. I guess it is no different to the fact that someone sat down and decided the layout of a letter etc. Sorry I can't change things. Go to your local library and ask for a typewriting book which covers the layout of poetry, and report back if it is different to what I have said please. |
Yes but
Written by patterjack (1067 comments posted) 5th April 2008 |
why apply it to poetry , which left that sort of nonsense behind long ago. Poetry , like thought , advances -- and does not have to be constricted in Victorian corsetry.
patterjack |
Last answer
Written by Josie (2496 comments posted) 6th April 2008 |
The answer to your question is that I don't know but you could write to publishers and examination boards who have determined this.
This layout of poetry is alive and kicking today, very much so. I have a new poetry book right here by me, and that is exactly how the poems have been printed.
Although this was not the content of my poem, it is perhaps good that I can bring this to the attention of writers here, because whereas others may be experts in areas of the content or metre of poems, I am, indeed, an expert on the teachiing of typewriting. Someone asked about what sort of things should we say in reviews. I think that the layout of a poem is the first thing which you see, and the way that the poem lies on the page, you see this before even reading it. You could mention the layout of the poem in your review, and give help with that also in addition to other remarks.
If anyone sends their work to a publisher, be warned that a publisher will see the layout of the poem before the content, and if it is presented in a poor way, it will meet the publisher's bin before he reads it, I am sorry to say.
Therefore, take my advice and work on the display of your work as well as the content.
A poem that has every line centred, or a poem that is written in double line spacing and without capitals and full stops will not attract attention. I hope my expertise in this area will help you all and perhaps some of you may try writing as I have suggested above if you want to get your work published. |
Back to the Middle Ages?
Written by Fledermaus (3159 comments posted) 6th April 2008 |
| Absolutely agree (see my comment in the tavern). What's funny about the discussion about text messaging, 1337 and inconsistent spelling though is that in Medieval times it was much worse. Have a look at ancient manuscripts: They are full of abbreviations and inconsistencies. Of course the reason behind it is a different one and those old monks were probably extremely careful, but the similarities in the result are striking. |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (458 comments posted) 6th April 2008 |
I blame ee cummings
Worth a read just to see if you can make any sense of his work. |
TXT MSGs
Written by fellpony (1507 comments posted) 6th April 2008 |
only work if the two people communicating use the same language. CUL8R doesn't work if you speak French or German where 8 doesn't interpret the "ate" sound.
Yes, a poem needs to be laid out in a way that is easy to read - left rather than centre justified, single spaced with 2 returns between stanzas for economy of space, and using the paper space intelligently for clarity - but the choice of initial caps and indentation is entirely up to the author, to whom the copy typist and printer are only servants. I have expanded on this in the Forum thread. |
Thanks
Written by Josie (2496 comments posted) 7th April 2008 |
| Thank you for the kind reviews and gutterkitty I am so glad you had a little laugh, for I did intend it that way. I'm sorry about the "nit-picking" about capitals, but I will always lay my poetry out the way I taught it and the way most books set theirs out. It looks professional to my eye. I do hope this silly poem will encourage some of you to check your spelling and if you do have mistakes, don't make them a second time. That spoils your work. I only intended to give good advice in a fun way. Thanks again. |
Written by mosw30987 (17 comments posted) 18th April 2008 |
brilliant work josie. i reeli likd the last lne
Fareed
9 |
Thanks mos
Written by Josie (2496 comments posted) 18th April 2008 |
| Thanks Mos. Was "i reeli" meant to be a joke? What happened to your capitals?. - Well, I'll take it as a joke. Thanks again. |
Written by mosw30987 (17 comments posted) 20th April 2008 |
your welcome  |
Written by Bonbon (15 comments posted) 22nd April 2008 |
| First I think youre poem was very good.I didn't understand what fangled fad meant. |
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