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Poetry
toast
By wt
05 April 2008
I write this poem perhaps my very last
tomorrow I journey to place alas
where rhymes are naught but misplaced errors
of judgment human and dark endeavors

tomorrow of you I'll think out loud
of humble beginnings on paper's texture
my pen did metaphysically jot
a line or two of cryptic pleasure

as the gore of humanity exposes its wrath
i'll sparkle you the motley crew
from fields of anger to pastures green
my digital poets whose magic sways

from afar your eyes will but surely glaze
upon a shimmer of a wine cup's toast
to england's forbidden and the wonder host
that in all of empire has come to pass


Reviews

Written by Phil (6683 comments posted) 5th April 2008
I just hope you've read Josie's last - she's not going to be pleased. Still, at least the spelling and apostrophes are in place. 
 
I can't get the second line to make sense - could be me. 
 
As for the whole - I won't comment - as not for the first time, you leave me flummoxed. 
 
Phil 
I know --
Written by fellpony (1603 comments posted) 5th April 2008
-- the metre police have finally caught up with you and you're going into prison tomorrow, where you'll be set to break offensive blank-blank verse into feet, and sloppy stanzas into syllables, with a big, big, BIG sledgehammer. 
 
I was carried along fairly happily through the first stanzas but you've lost me with your conclusion, WT.  
 
Bye ... have a nice trip :)
phil, fellpony
Written by wt (137 comments posted) 6th April 2008
guilty as charged! 
i confess 

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