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Poetry
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Lesson learned
By mightymoose
06 April 2008
I don't know if it is poetry, but it's an important lesson for me, and maybe others, who can truly love and give of themselves.

I can love.
Oh! I can love!
Always wanting the best for others,
I can love until I bleed.

It was a lesson
learned a long time ago
as a young serving professional.

Love, encourage, give hope and cheer
guide, empathize or sympathize...
Until it is discovered
I am drained
                            sucked dry
                                                     overwhelmed
                                                                                     sorrowful.

Then self-preservation sets in.
Giving all you are leaves nothing.

                                                                     just an empty shell

So pull back!  Time out!
Enjoy life with those who give back the love that pours from you!

Reviews

Written by mia_ms_kim (915 comments posted) 6th April 2008
I can relate to this, though I'm not a self-sacrificing giving type. I'm thinking of the pitfalls of relationships, that can grow into a host-parasite relationship. I find that for a relationship to be sustained longterm, one has to expect/demand deposits as well as withdrawals. I understand the "time out" bit. It's sometimes a relief to just enjoy your own company and the company of those who just want your presence and nothing more. 
 
Perhaps you can flesh it out as a non-fiction. I think, to work as a poem, it has to tell less and instruct less, but perhaps use more imagery to "show" more, and leave somethings to the readers' imagination and interpretation. I'm no poet, so this is a layman's reaction. But I really get your point, and I think it's an important point. 
 
Mia 8)
Aching to burst out?
Written by msebastian08 (8 comments posted) 7th April 2008
I think there is a good poem in here, but perhaps not yet. I love the way you start with that outburst of emotion, but as a reader and a writer of poetry I want to have to work a bit harder, to put myself into the process and feel. As the lines go on, there is little for me to do but read and sympathise. You approach imagery in some of your language without fully getting there. I agree with Mia on the parallels with persoal relationships and you might use that as a device to say things about professional relationships. As I said, I think the poem in there wants to be born and burst out and be free.

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