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Poetry
patterjack's birthday
By Veronica_Milvus
06 April 2008

I am advised that patterjack's birthday is coming up this week, and here's a poem what I wrote to commemorate the occasion.


PATTERJACK’S BIRTHDAY

 

In Sydney, at the closing of the day,

as sunset trims with flame the bobbing masts,

and evening lamplight glitters on the bay,

patterjack logs in. He gently casts

his eyes on verses from remote location

a hemisphere and half a day away.

 

He lays his stanzas softly on the screen;

a lifetime’s instinct permeates each line

as every word means what he aims to mean

he changes water into vintage wine.

The truth, from his particular vocation,

he tells, so we might see what he has seen.

Reviews

Written by fellpony (1569 comments posted) 6th April 2008
so we might see what he has seen 
 
And that is the aim of all writing, from runes and rock inscriptions through papyrus and parchment and paper and printing presses ... excuse me while I go and pen another piece like what you have wrote. 
 
What a complex rhyme scheme :)
An occasion
Written by Brett (720 comments posted) 6th April 2008
worth commemorating. I like some of your phrases here, V; 
 
'he changes water into vintage wine' ahh. 
 
I think the rhyme scheme you chose exciting. 
 
Cheers

Written by beatricelouise (215 comments posted) 6th April 2008
Ahhhhh!! Happy Birthday, patterjack, and many more. 8)  
 
Such a special way to commemorate such an occasion. And written so splendidly. You do have a way with words, Veronica. Good for you. :grin :grin  
 

Written by Phil (6628 comments posted) 6th April 2008
I like this - especially the first - for how do we know pj's not out clubbing with Sydney's most gorgeous, quaffing vintage Bollinger from their navels and then returning home to pen his verse? Only joking Brian. 
 
Good piece - and again - I really like the subtle rhymes. 
 
Phil

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