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Poetry
By Lamplight and Jazz I Toil
By Brett
06 April 2008
I wrote this during the frustration I felt of becoming stuck on a ballad that I'm working on (I have over 30 stanzas down, and am not a third of the way through the narrative). I'm sure you will be ecstatic to learn that this is another form of englyn, don't moan, blame patterjack. Englyn Crych to be precise.

By Lamplight and Jazz I Toil

By lamplight and jazz I toil,
To what end does my blood boil?
The foil to embedded verse.
No great ballad to uncoil.

By midnight and jazz I find
Threads, though they be unrefined,
Not blind in finding their way
To place murder on my mind.

By sunrise and Stardust; tales
That roving ghosts shall bewail,
And scale, humbly from the page,
The mountains, the mists of Wales.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 6th April 2008
Like it. It's a bugger to read to start with as the rhyme in the third line throws you off the expected rhythm. Once you get the rhythm, it reads really well. It also makes the line line into a kind of statement - except in the last - for some reason. 
 
What's the ballad about - or is it secret until the unveiling? 
 
Phil
Thanks, Phil
Written by Brett (731 comments posted) 6th April 2008
Yes, that third line does consist of a rhyme - but it is in the 2nd syllable rather than an end rhyme (bloody Welsh). 
 
I think unveiling is far too dramatic for the humble narrative that I hope to post, and I doubt very much that it shall scale, humbly from the page, the mountains, the mists of Wales. Does that last line make any sense now? 
 
Cheers, Phil, always appreciated.

Written by mia_ms_kim (973 comments posted) 6th April 2008
This sounds beautiful to me. I noticed the interesting rhyming scheme, that seems to add a song-like lilt to the piece. "Englyn Crych" - I would have thought this was a female Welsh name a month ago. As I said to pj, I am discovering how rich the English language can be. 
 
Mia ;)
If I get to Wales again
Written by patterjack (1159 comments posted) 6th April 2008
or you get to Oz -- I will buy you a beer for your efforts . 
 
BTW -- have a look at A Japanese / Cymric occasion . Non fiction .  
 
It was a great day for this free loader . :grin
patterjack
Written by Brett (731 comments posted) 7th April 2008
I look forward to the beer. 
I have just read A Japanese/Cymric occasion. Wonderfully entertaining, and contains a line that I adore: 
"I am at the best of times more Esau than a Jacob." 
 
Mia, thank you for your kind words. I think you're right in what you say - she sounds like a Welsh witch, that serpent eyes Englyn Crych. 
 
Cheers

Written by Josie (2732 comments posted) 7th April 2008
You are a man who likes to rise to challenges Brett, and work within a pattern, and you do very well indeed. My congratulations. Yorkshire is the place to come for good ale, and not so far to travel. Come to Yorkshire.

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