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Poetry


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Crassulacean Acid Metabolism

By NedWilson

11 April 2008

I have long envied the Crassulaceans their ability to survive in hot dry places. By three o'clock I am usually reduced to being an unpleasant, damp red blob with five o'clock shadow. Before three o'clock I am not too bad. The ability to close my stomata would be a tremendous advantage to me, particularly with ladies in tropical countries.

The Crassulacians
Usually live in hot dry places
Some are hard skinned and prickly-
Psychotic cases
Come too close and
They're liable to skin you
Or else put an eye out
Or rip a sinew.

But in many ways they're remarkable plants
With some unusual slants
On life. Let me give you a frinstance;
If you were to open your pores or stomata -
At the height of a very hot day
You'll soon find your water's evaporated away
So that's something that you definitely didn't oughta!

So as might be supposed
During the day, Crassulaceans
Keep their stomata closed.
And they open them only at night
When the light and the heat of the day have quite
Subsided.

But how can that work?
For if they close their stomata diurnally
How can they photosyn
Thesize? They can't do it nocturnally!
There's no sun at night?!!?

Well the Crassulaceans have a trick up their sleeve -
As I've said - they open their stomata at night
So that's when they top up with carbon!
And they store it away
Till the first light of day
As malic acid, in a vacuole

And then
When the sun's in the sky again
The carbon comes out of the acid
And they can photosynthesise safely
Without becoming flaccid.

Its all about making sugars.
Clever buggars!

Reviews

Written by Veronica_Milvus (626 comments posted) 11th April 2008

When I first saw this I thought the Crassulaceans must be some sort of alien species from Dr Who. However - I don't think I've ever seen so much plant physiology in a poem before! Perhaps all biochemistry textbooks should be written this way. Hmmm, the Krebs cycle as an operatic libretto, like Wagner's ring cycle...

No. Life is too short.

I learned a lot from this, and well done on putting a completely unexpected subject into a very nice poem.

Have you tried putting economics into a poem, or maybe fluid mechanics...

Extended
Written by patterjack (1193 comments posted) 11th April 2008

Ogden Nash --but a bit more serious than he.

His closest verse to plant/animal commentary is, as far as i remember :

Why reeks the goat
on yonder hill
who seems to dote
on chlorophyl ?

I enjoyed your treatise .

patterjack

Written by NedWilson (26 comments posted) 11th April 2008

I would love to see something on mathematics. Euler's equation linking several mathematical constants springs to mind!

Written by mia_ms_kim (1017 comments posted) 11th April 2008

I thought you were talking about plants in your intro, then in stanza 1, I thought they were some vicious lizards, then in stanza 2 made me think they are carnivorous plants. By the end of the poem, I could only tell that they were very strange plants. So I looked up wikipedia, and found out pineapples were Crassulaceans! What I learn from GW poems - it's amazing!

Mia :eek

ps - have you thought about doing a poem on Quantum Mechanics? I've never understood it. If someone can put it down simply in a poem, I would so appreciate it.

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