Uncle Sam: Good morning Oil Monkey, may I call you Mo?

Oil Monkey: Of course Sam. How can I be of assistance?

Uncle Sam: Well, as you know I am in the market for some oil. Our own oil industry is hamstrung by petty political bickering so we just can’t get enough of the stuff. And as you know, Americans love their cars.

Oil Monkey: Well, it just so happens that we have lots and lots of “the stuff” and we would be more than happy to sell it to you.

Uncle Sam: Great should we sign the contract?

Oil Monkey: Of course, with a few addendums.

Uncle Sam: Addendums?

Oil Monkey: Yes, a few very small almost insignificant additions.

Uncle Sam: Let’s hear them.

Oil Monkey: First, we just wanted you to know that when we sell you the oil we will be using it to fund international terrorism.

Uncle Sam: What?

Oil Monkey: Yes, we will give money to schools that teach hatred for Jews, Americans, and any other infidels.

Uncle Sam: I don’t understand. I thought…

Oil Monkey: When these radicals attack you, which they eventually will, you will not in any way cast blame on our government. Instead you will continue to purchase our oil, probably at inflated prices, while at the same time raiding your own coffers to fight those that your earlier oil purchases helped to create.

Uncle Sam: I thought…

Oil Monkey: In fact, if we don’t like the way you are running your country or if we just want to make you squirm we will turn off the oil spigots. In the short run this will result in high fuel prices and a disgruntled population. If we persist it could result in serious damage to your economy.

Uncle Sam: Let me get this straight. You are going to use the money from our oil purchases to fund terrorism. You then expect that after we are attacked by the terrorists that you helped to create we won’t blame you? And you expect us to continue purchasing your oil?

Oil Monkey: You forgot the part where we turn the spigots off just to watch you squirm.

Uncle Sam: Oh, let’s not forget that part.

Oil Monkey: I think you have summed it up very nicely, any other questions?

Uncle Sam: Sounds reasonable, where do I sign?