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By wt
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11 April 2008 |
Sparkle not
in light array
As trumpets
take heed
Of the
coming of the savior
Weep in
turn but fray
As forays and
creed
Proclaim
the end of saga
For as yellow
flags will sway
Witness winded
steed
Impale in blood
soaked pleasure
Thumping
chest in agony’s way
Mourning vultures
feed
On what was
our forever
For this
writ on ancient clay
In war, blessed
who in deed
Is spared the
morning after
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Written by Veronica_Milvus (595 comments posted) 11th April 2008 | I have only got the faintest idea what this is about, and I have no idea how it relates to Josie. or commas. However, I really like it! Something like the Second Coming in verse...
Excellent rhyme scheme. Does it have a name or is it invented? Might have a go at it myself... an example of the "sonnwt".
plz to explainz mor |
Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 11th April 2008 | Interesting structure - but you'll not be surprised to know that this one passed me by too.
Phil | WT
Written by punchy (493 comments posted) 11th April 2008 | I would live to know if when you write it just comes out or if you think about it? I don't think about my stuff as I write it but yours is always so obscure that I can not grasp a meaning at all. I am not critisising just curious.( sorry about my spelling).
It is intriguing what you write but I feel I want an explanation after each piece?
Paula  |
Written by mia_ms_kim (976 comments posted) 11th April 2008 | I echo most of the above reviewers' sentiments. I never quite understood your poems. But the parts I understood, I thought were very moving, but they always were just out of my reach and left me blinking.
I wonder if, in this piece, you are talking about the end of era for punctuation (I guess Josie wants to keep them strict?) and you are either mourning it or mocking it - not sure which?
So again, I'm left scratching my head.
Mia  | veronica
Written by wt (137 comments posted) 11th April 2008 |
I rarely if ever use use punctuation so when I inserted the comma in the last stanza josie's stance on this issue flashed to mind...hence the title.
Veronica the imagery stems fro the battle of Karballa when the shiites and sunnis fought for the "leadership" of islam..hence the yellow flags which is the colour of the Mahdi (the savior) who according to shiites will proclaim the second coming of Jesus...
(see below From Wikipedia)
In Islamic eschatology the Mahdi (مهدي transliteration: Mahdī, also Mehdi; "Guided One") is the prophesied redeemer of Islam who will stay on earth seven, nine, or nineteen years (depending on the interpretation[1]) before the coming of the day, Yaum al-Qiyamah (literally "Day of the Resurrection" or "Day of the Standing").[2] Muslims believe the Mahdi will restore righteousness and change the world into a perfect and just Islamic society alongside Jesus. The concept of Mahdi is not explicitly mentioned in the Qu'ran, but there are many hadith (traditional sayings of Muhammad) on the Mahdi.
The advent of Mahdi is not a universally accepted concept in Islam[3] and among those that accept the Mahdi there are basic differences among different sects of Muslims about the timing and nature of his advent and guidance. The idea of the Mahdi has been described as important to Sufi Muslims and a "powerful and central religious idea" for Shia Muslims who believe in Muhammad al-Mahdi. However, among Sunni, it "never became a formal doctrine" and is neither endorsed, nor condemned "by the consensus of Sunni Ulama." It has "gained a strong hold on the imagination of many ordinary" self-described orthodox Sunni though, thanks to Sufi preaching.[4] Another source distinguishes between Sunni and Shia beliefs on the Mahdi saying the Sunni believe the Mahdi will be a descendant of the Prophet named Muhammad who will revive the faith, but not necessarily be connected with the end of the world, Jesus or perfection.[5] | punchy
Written by wt (137 comments posted) 11th April 2008 |
i write spontaneously much like i would put paint on canvas.
sometimes the music guides me, sometimes it's subject matter and once in a while its the technique....
more often than not, this is sparked either by strong emotion/experience or imagery.
perhaps one day i will spend more time in orchestrating my work..
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Written by Veronica_Milvus (595 comments posted) 12th April 2008 | Thanks, wt, for the explanation. It helps a lot. I certainly got the impression of heat, dust, bright sunlight, battle and religious texts.
A really excellent poem. |
Written by madeupname (18 comments posted) 12th April 2008 | | I really liked this, especially after the second reading when it made more sense to me...didnt have to read your explanation at all!!!!! |
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