READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1720 guests online and 11 members online
Poetry
Winters
By lauthiamkok
13 April 2008
Any grammer errors please do let me know many thanks. :-)

A few winters ago
in the cold and misty air,
I heard the wind howled
like a storm coming to strike,
and I heard your voice,
fighting through the wind,
laboriously reaching my ears,
say my name kindly, kindly,
before we say goodbye,
goodbye.

Many winters now,
I hear the wind
howls the same each year
by my window night
like a storm strikes and kills.
But in these winters air,
cold, damp, and cruel,
I hear your voice no more,
no more.

I see you sometimes in my dreams
and I wake up in the morning,
the birds sing the same,
the sun shines the same,
the breeze blows the same,
the world still goes on
like everyone ages every day.
But in this winter air,
cold, damp, and lazy,
I would rather
steal a precious moment,
swim back to the dreams
to hear your voice once more,
once more.

Reviews

Written by Josie (2851 comments posted) 13th April 2008
I think your poem is very understandable, for we all would sometimes like to turn the clock back and be able to speak to people who are no longer with us. However, sadly, that is not how life is. The only thing to tell yourself that there are many lovely people around you who would also love to speak with you and be friends with you, so life must move forward and new people will fill the gap made by those who have gone. Make sure you make the new people happy.

Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 13th April 2008
I like the short repetition at the end of each stanza. It makes the feeling echo on. Your poems, to me, read like the everlasting lovestory of lovers who parted by the beloved's death, but they never really separated. The elements of nature always connect and bring them together, and the beloved is ever hauntingly omni-present. It's very romantic, Lau.  
 
Mia :)
To Josie and Mia
Written by lauthiamkok (60 comments posted) 14th April 2008
Many thanks for writing something here again. Text are my magic memory keeper for the temporality. They are my magic tool for creativity as well. So I dont live a life on text of cos! The moon still rises for whatever ever has gone or not yet.

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item