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Poetry
Deiforestation
By wt
14 April 2008

Where the tree once stood I had tear-eyed grasped
The meaning of the lord’s love bird song’s rasp
Of a squirrel perhaps or cat hunt’s paws
The wonder of life through my balcony’s doors

But blunt axe to the temple of my soul’s firm mast
And priest’s plight for a penny having left me aghast
Of my crucifix past and the blood that it drained
Son of Man perhaps and spirit thrice refrained

Back to myth and conception misconception was made
And my tree was no more but church’s coffers were laid
Through my balcony doors bells but birdsong no more
Love was once in the air now its sermons galore

Reviews

Written by Phil (7014 comments posted) 14th April 2008
I quite like this. It contains individual ideas that I like and appeal to me. I like the way it ebbs to and fro, balanced and imbalanced. I still struggle with the way you often put words together - I can't quiet get the syntax. Some, I suppose, would say you've twisted the syntax beyond acceptable grammar (not just here) but I'm not so sure. 
 
Glad you responded here (it does seem like a response) as the other is very young - and probably shouldn't be here anyway. 
 
Phil
Phil
Written by wt (137 comments posted) 16th April 2008
I strongly feel that the English language is evolving and that spoken and written English will no doubt be a different global "animal" a few decades from now.... 
 
As for the response, I get the shivers when a child mentions "like God teaches us, wants us...." It reminds me of the generation of kids currently being raised by militant/activist fundamentalist institutionalized doctrines of all kinds..  
 

Written by Phil (7014 comments posted) 16th April 2008
The English language is evolving and will probably be a different 'animal' in a few decades. Still doesn't explain the twisted syntax.  
 
With you 100% on the second point. 
 
Phil

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