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Poetry
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Poetic Gene
By lauthiamkok
15 April 2008
Again, any grammar errors please do let me know many thanks or just a criticism is always warmly welcomed :-)

Decided to make it short and elegant. The original version was,

Only those beauty
that through hell
become roses.

Among the beautiful
those bear the bitter
become the poetic.

Hence all beauty
must be cursed
or be vain.

Like we must age
we must through ill
and we must die.

Like I must grow pains
the mother must wilt
and I must say goodbye.



Only those beauty
that through hell
become roses.

Among the beautiful
those bear the bitter
become the poetic.

Hence all beauty
must be cursed
or be vain.

 

Reviews
Sorry,
Written by fellpony (1617 comments posted) 15th April 2008
Sorry, but I don't agree with the sentiments in the first three stanzas, which I think are far too sweeping to be truthful, and I think the final two are unremarkable. I will PM you with comments on the grammar though :)
thanks
Written by lauthiamkok (60 comments posted) 15th April 2008
Many thanks to fellpony for the grammar correction. below is a corrected version. 
 
Only those beauties 
that go through hell 
become roses. 
 
Among the beautiful 
those that bear the bitter 
become the poetic. 
 
Hence all beauty 
must be cursed 
or be vain. 
 
Like we must age 
going through ill 
and we must die. 
 
Like I must grow pains 
the mother must wilt 
and I must say goodbye.

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