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Poetry


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Josie's Challenge (edited)

By Katanga

15 April 2008

The Straight and Narrow

So much depends
upon
the sorrow
we feel
for others
outside
left in the cold
heartless

Reviews

Written by Josie (2854 comments posted) 15th April 2008

Well done. Also, So much depends upon the love we show to others left outside in the cold. You don't have to look very far in this world. Even on Great Writing some people feel left out in the cold when they don't get reviews or kind words.

Written by edjones (14 comments posted) 15th April 2008

At first I thought pity would be better than sorrow but then I looked in my Oxford Concise and saw; sorrow: grief...caused by loss of good or occurrence of evil. That has more power than; pity: feeling of tenderness aroused by...distress or suffering. That is why you are a poet and I'm not. Perhaps it is also why I feel left hanging for the word that follows 'heartless'. A deliberate device? The title also intrigues in this context. The poem must be good because it has me thinking. Thank you.

Heartless
Written by Katanga (1554 comments posted) 16th April 2008

Thanks, Ed, for your complimentary comments and thought and time on this! Yes, I thought 'pity' would be a bit patronising and narrower in scope here. The title is supposed to imply that we are often too 'blinkered' to see the bigger picture of humanity. 'Heartless' is deliberately ambiguous - meaning that we are heartless in our blinkered ways and also that the destitute, bereaved and forgotten have 'lost heart' in their despair and also perhaps have lost their own capacity for compassion through becoming hardened to suffering - maybe that's too much to imply? Dunno! Thanks again - I shall take a good look at your own work.

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