An ode - without an O! in it though.
The wall outside my window has holes I can see through.
No mortar blocks your corridors between the mossgrown stones.
You crouch in chilly sunshine at its foot. You groom your fur
not knowing that I watch you sitting at your own front door.
You steal my honeysuckle leaves, and whisk them safe within
where owl and hawk can’t reach you; yet they are not mine
so how can you be stealing? I can’t tell the leaves to grow,
nor keep them in the autumn from falling, nor command
the scented sprays to flower for you, nor berry for the birds.
They do it for themselves, as you who nest, short-sighted
inside the drystone wall, will rear your family there.
Without the glasses at my eyes, then I might abdicate
my human power to stare into your world. As you don’t see
me, I would not see you, nor your presence as a trust.
|
Written by Phil (6628 comments posted) 15th April 2008 |
We have toads and newts nesting in our wall. Comforting to know that we share our little part of the world with others - and that's part of what comes across here - a feeling of 'rightness' which you partly explore in the second. It's a little like an alien living next door. Completely different - but sharing space and cohabiting. Again, your poem gave the feeling of shared and contented existence. I think I'm waffling now. Liked it, especially for its odd brand of domesticity. Phil |
Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 15th April 2008 |
| Nice piece, Sue. Clear images and, as Phil states, a sense of rightness about the scene it portrays. |
Oooooh! Written by Katanga (1129 comments posted) 16th April 2008 |
I love this poem, Sue! Amazing how you've packed in so many Os, without even a whiff of artificiality or experimental device. 29 in the first four-line stanza is pretty good going! Skilful indeed, and very moving. |
Ah Written by fellpony (1569 comments posted) 16th April 2008 |
| Hand on heart, I cannot claim to have written-in so many Os deliberately. They just fitted. The O! I meant in the intro, wot I did without, was the poetic form of address, "O cuckoo, shall I call thee bird or but a wand'ring voice?" The O in Ode, in fact. |
Written by Katanga (1129 comments posted) 16th April 2008 |
Ah, I get it now! What an hilarious misunderstanding on my part! I'm still impressed with the number of Os though Talking of which, who was that experimental writer who wrote a whole novel, I seem to recall, without using a single letter 'e'? I might try a poem with some sort of similar device - it can lead one's ideas in all sorts of unexpected, and occasionally fruitful, directions, a bit like using a clumsy computer voice recognition device and reading Shakespeare into it to see what comes out - great fun I might add! Ode Cologne! Ha! Ha! |
Written by Josie (2718 comments posted) 17th April 2008 |
| Lovely poem Sue. We get many visitors to our garden too, but the ones I love to see are the tiny field mice who come when the honeysuckle has its berries on it. They sit there with a honeysuckle berry in their tiny hands and the juice running down their little chins. I have a photograph of two of them. They didn't seem at all frightened. Isn't nature lovely? |
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