Just woke up this afternoon,
Drink still swimming in my head.
I can’t remember how and when
I got my broken body, into bed.
Hungover thoughts reflect and conclude:
My life’s a total farce.
Bloody work I have to go to now
And I truly can’t be arsed!
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Written by Josie (2786 comments posted) 15th April 2008 | | I have to say that this is a very sad poem to people of my generation who put work first before anything. We had wonderful evenings, dancing to live bands with friends. We couldn't afford alcohol and didn't feel the need for it either, but we really did have lots of fun together, and I was a teacher for over 30 years and never missed a lesson or was late for one class. This is absolutely true. |
Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 15th April 2008 | Well, that told you, you slacker! You sound like a student - make the best of it.
Phil |
Written by fellpony (1617 comments posted) 15th April 2008 | I usually tell my students, "Just don't drink so much that you can't remember whether you enjoyed yourself or not."
Farce, yes - but totally self inflicted  Go for a bracing jog among the diesel fumes, that'll set you up for the week ahead.  |
Written by mr_soul (126 comments posted) 15th April 2008 | Ok, first of all I'm not a student despite what this suggests. And I deliberately wrote this to sound sad, that was the point in this. It wasn't glorifying this behaviour. But it wasn't condemning it either, it was sympathising with it really. I think this paints a picture of the youth today Personally, and no offence to the older reviewers, but as someone who is relatively young, I think the older generation really don't understand or relate to the younger generation of today. They think of the youth as drunken wastes really and thats part of the problem. Remember the youth is a product of adults, so if the youth has failed then the adult generation has failed. If the youth, and this is a belief I hold, can only find happiness in getting drunk then that paints a very sad picture of society. And that is a society which the older generation has created. So nobody can wash their hands of this issue.
Often people are treated like dirt working for some company who rake in huge profits, an old-fashioned value is that you are a speck of dust and should just buckle down and get on with it, be happy with what the company gives you. I don't believe that. I believe people are worth something. And it is a crying shame that the youth of today are so disillusioned with the world that the older generation have created for them, that happiness - or what appears to be happiness - can only be found through drink.
This is just a snippet of life as a young person and was meant to be light-hearted and humorous, yet with a deliberate darker edge and a meaning behind it. The youth are certainly not without their flaws, but they are only made by what the older generation have made them, and that is a world obsessed with money and "success", a world which pressurises young people, and often at times offers little hope to them.
Thanks for the comments everyone, I'm glad this struck a chord with some of you.. | Good Explanation
Written by Katanga (1229 comments posted) 16th April 2008 | Hi Mr Soul! I think this is an excellent explanation and 'justification' for your poem. However, none of this is remotely implied in your work.
I just think it's a shame you didn't weave these ideas into your text - as it stands, it comes across as an angry, borish, drunken rant, which accounts for the somewhat negative feedback from 'the older generation' (I'm 51 by the way). When I first saw it I thought you must have clicked 'submit' by mistake and would later regret it. Now I look forward to more of your stuff! LOL |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (637 comments posted) 16th April 2008 | Mr Soul, never mind the contentious content here, I see you have a growing interest in metre and it works quite well. In fact the rather bouncy rhythm you have created is one of the things that makes this piece rather insouciant, which, I think, is what has got all the oldies going.
I too would be interested to see the ideas you have written into your comment worked up in an angry piece of verse.
BUT, the "older generation" (I am 44) did not universally cause the conditions you deplore. I guess some of the more influential business people, journalists, politicians may have done so. There's also a certain shallowness in some young people that causes them to party hard "to forget" rather than to try to change the world they are in. I might try to write myself a bit about materialism gone too far. |
Written by NedWilson (26 comments posted) 16th April 2008 | | Written from the heart. But I agree if you can't remember it it wasnt worth doing! As for that job........ |
Written by mr_soul (126 comments posted) 16th April 2008 | Katanga, Veronica and Ned, my thanks for the comments.
Yes Veronica, I did spend a bit more time and care on this one. Still a lot of room for improvement but I'm heading in the right direction I think. I'm starting to think more about what I write rather than just type furiously lol.
Maybe my next project then to write something dealing with these ideas in more detail. I'll give that a go.
I agree, it is people in authority who create the society we live in, yet others would argue that it is us who put these people in power. Yet we have no choice in the chairman and business leaders who are so influential, maybe even the most influential, in how our society operates. One of the things I admire about the older generations is they seemed to hold views and convictions. They fought for freedoms, they gave their lives for freedoms. Now, I agree, young people can be shallow. They often don't give a damn about others or what's going on in the world. As long as they get drunk on at the weekend it doesn't matter. Its a bit sad really. Maybe its a failure of society. And how can we re-engage with the young again and end a culture of binge drinking? How do we reverse a society obsessed with material things? There interesting topics.
As for that job, well, what can I say, it is truly awful ha!
Thanks for the comments everyone, much appreciated
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Written by fellpony (1617 comments posted) 16th April 2008 | The youth are certainly not without their flaws, but they are only made by what the older generation have made them ...
Parents who give too much and leave nothing for the young to strive for, perhaps? The backlash of too much materialism at the expense of relationships?
What a lot of interesting thoughts your simple rant has inspired! |
Written by mr_soul (126 comments posted) 18th April 2008 | Thanks fellpony. Yes there's many different ways this could be interpreted I suppose, I'm glad it was thought provoking. Maybe these themes will inspire a few more poems in the coming weeks.
Thanks again. |
Written by Brett (785 comments posted) 19th April 2008 | Hi, Mr Soul. I agree with Veronica that there is a vast imporovement to your metre, and therefor making your work easier and more enjoyable for the reader.
As for the content, or rather your explanation of the content - every generation has had its drunken youths, this is not a modern phenomena; history is littered with them.
All the best |
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