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Written by Phil (6393 comments posted) 15th April 2008 |
I loved this line: I imagine my teeth will require a lengthy programme of treatment in order to face the masticatory challenges ahead.
Enjoyed this. I'd imagine Jane will be excited to see someone has resurrected old JP. He's just too good a figure of absurdity to ignore.
Phil |
Written by coosh (822 comments posted) 16th April 2008 |
| I reckon visually speaking, this would come out pretty well - the characterisation added by a sort of Rory Bremner figure would enhance the comedy further. Good situation - the Blair control-freak as the dentist was clever, and you can't go wrong for a good ending with John Prescott in a cheeky nurse's uniform. You could perhaps have explored the "masticatory challenge"-type lingo/theme a bit more (particularly vis-a-vis the bureaucracy of the NHS (can you get free dentistry any more - or is it still cheaper to go to Bulgaria?)), but it was simple and to the point. Enjoyable images. |
Written by TwistedTales (454 comments posted) 16th April 2008 |
 funny...enjoyed this.
Regards,
TT |
Written by Octavius (24 comments posted) 17th April 2008 |
I enjoyed this, too (though the image of John Prescott in a nurse's uniform has made me feel slightly quesy).
It might just be worth elongating this a little: I think as a performance piece it's just a tad on the short side. There's plenty of scope for expansion, too. My favourite bit was the section at the start before the tools were removed from Brown's mouth. I think there's a little bit more mileage to be had in Blair's questions and Brown's incomprehensible yet still meaningful responses. |
Written by Livinginanattic (454 comments posted) 18th April 2008 |
Thanks everyone for your comments.
Phil, with Blair as the dentist there was only one person who could be his sidekick. I don't think Mandelson would pack quite the same punch, as it were.
Coosh, I thought of mentioning the Blair smile in the directions but it seemed unnecessary. As you say, the actors would add their own interpretations to the characters. I like the idea of exploring the bureaucratic lingo a bit more - could be the main theme for another sketch.
TT, glad you enjoyed. I don't know how familiar you are with our politicians. Some of the humour in this does depend on a knowledge of these people but I find with this sort of thing, if the general situation is absurd enough it's still worth a chuckle.
Octavius, I wasn't sure how well that first part would go down so I kept it brief. If I add another question or two it will probably improve the pacing of this sketch.
Thanks again,
Ben
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3136 comments posted) 20th April 2008 |
I too thought there was more mileage in this; having set up the premise there was a lot of ways you could take it. I especially liked
"face the masticatory challenges ahead."
You could have done more 'Brown speak' in that style.
Of course the piece de resistance was Prezza in a nurse's uniform and with what Phil has told me he should have been munching of a burger then puking into the sink
Great concept and truly bizarre ending
Jane |
Written by Livinginanattic (454 comments posted) 21st April 2008 |
Many thanks Jane. Prezza seems so far away from the usual image of a bulimic it just seems surreal. He's said he wants to support an NHS eating disorder campaign - does this mean we'll see a new John Prescott going out and raising money for the relevant charities - maybe he'll auction off his jags? Or he could go on 'I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here'. Well... perhaps not a good idea as some of those bushtucker trials would only set it all off again.
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Written by woody44 (761 comments posted) 23rd April 2008 |
I enjoyed this Ben, although I must admit the picture of Prezza you painted put my right off my cornflakes. A brilliant way to promote his book I suppose, and he will of course, have chronicled all his affairs in great detail (!).
Perhaps he could team up with Heather Mills in the charity work..she is so shy in promoting her own good deeds...Just a thought..
Cheers
Roger |
Written by Livinginanattic (454 comments posted) 23rd April 2008 |
| Thanks Woody, and sorry about the cornflakes! What a horrible thought - Heather Mills with Prezza. Perhaps she's already lining him up as her next victim for gold-digging. I'm sure they'd deserve each other. |
Written by Jamiee12 (10 comments posted) 29th April 2008 |
| as a written satire it was ok but its just not funny |
Written by Jamiee12 (10 comments posted) 29th April 2008 |
continued on from before sorry, fat fingers.
anyway yeah it was niceley written sarcastic but acted out I dont think it would be too successful. The pace is slow the language is boring, didnt like it at all |
Written by Livinginanattic (454 comments posted) 30th April 2008 |
| Thanks Jamie. I made some changes to this - maybe it's backfired. The trouble is GB's manner of speech can be a bit dry at times. I've done a bit more work to tighten up his part of the dialogue, so hopefully it will read a bit better. |
Written by Jamiee12 (10 comments posted) 30th April 2008 |
| I think you've written it well the timings good and it is reminiscent of something you would see in say, dead ringers. However I think this particular script would be idealistic for people with a good understanding of politics as when you see impressionists doing Tony Blair or Gordon Brown there is very little focus on their policies, as the majority of the audience would be completely lost. I take it this is meant to be acted out by the way? If not it would fit perfectly as a political satire in a newspaper such as the Times or the Guardian. |
Written by Livinginanattic (454 comments posted) 30th April 2008 |
| Thanks again Jaimie. I had this in mind as a video sketch, though it could be adapted to other forms. |
Written by Josie (2496 comments posted) 31st May 2008 |
| A very visual comedy piece. In such a situation you could make a prime minister agree to almost anything. ha ha. You should send this to 10 Downing Street. You can expect a phone call tomorrow morning at 6 am though. Are you ready for this? |
Written by Livinginanattic (454 comments posted) 1st June 2008 |
Thanks Josie.
I may not have been fair to GB. After writing this I came across a report on his visit to a dentist last year, which involved drilling down to the nerve. He'd refused an anaesthetic because he was going to make a speech later that day. By all accounts he didn't flinch. |
HI LIA
Written by jean.day (2196 comments posted) 2nd June 2008 |
This was great fun, and as I have had two very unpleasant visits to my dentist recently, I was glad that GB had to suffer a bit too. But having a tooth drilled without anasthetic is pretty brave.
I was thinking that the liquid that was put in his mouth was going to be some sort of acid that would turn all his teeth black. I have heard that you can't trust anyone whose teeth are really white - that they are bound to be insincere. So maybe Blair wouldn't want Brown to have a sympathy vote with black teeth. |
Written by Livinginanattic (454 comments posted) 2nd June 2008 |
Thanks Jean.
Hmm, Gordon Brown with black teeth - sounds like something from a horror movie. I'm sure Blair could rest easy as the crumbling teeth would scare the voters away. And no kissing babies before the election.
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