|
By shirley_keeldar
|
|
16 April 2008 |
A poem about almost cheating
Driving you home one night
We joked randomly in
Our frivolous private language
About what we would do if,absurdly,
A deer ran out in front of the car-
And it happened! Not one
But two deer, young ones
Like us, skipping, untroubled.
Caught in our headlights.
You did not see the danger but
I was driving and did:
We would meet, flesh would tear
And the pain of two deer
Lying entwined in a bloody pulp.
I stopped the car in time. They
Carried on, as if we weren't there;
You and I dumbfounded.
The price of this is too high.
|
Written by Josie (2851 comments posted) 16th April 2008 | | It does pay you to drive slowly and carefully in country areas, because wild animals don't realize what cars can do until too late. I notice that here in England I often see dead animals by and on our roads. I travelled through Canada on an "express" coach, which travelled at about 30 - 40 miles an hour, and we never saw any dead animals at all. I don't know why Britain and speed go together. | country
Written by shirley_keeldar (67 comments posted) 16th April 2008 | The funny thing was, it didnt happen in the country, it happened on a busy road in a residential area in the middle of Glasgow!  |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 16th April 2008 | | I didn't see this as a public service announcement but about the dangers of an illicit affair. I always read too much into poetry |
Written by fellpony (1752 comments posted) 16th April 2008 | | I agree with BBS - there's a tightly understated undercurrent here, closed by the last line. I had assumed, though, from the line: "Our ... private language" that the relationship between the two in the car was well established, rather than illicit. (Perhaps I didn't read "frivolous" as enough of a hint there that the relationship was in any way uncertain.) |
Written by mr_soul (126 comments posted) 16th April 2008 | Yeah I kind of agree with BBS and fellpony, it didn't strike me at first but there's definitely something else going on there, whether intentional or not. I'm sure it was intended and it makes it a much more interesting poem for it. I also smiled at the name, "two dear" and the last line of the poem is "the price of this is too high", ie "too dear" ha.
Liked this very much, nicely done. | Thanks..
Written by shirley_keeldar (67 comments posted) 16th April 2008 | ...for reviewing!
BBS - you read right!
fellpony - its about friends who got too close, "frivolous" touches on the innocent friendship side of the relationship, and Im glad you read the dark undertones, hopefully suggestive of the dangers of such a friendship going too far ie the deer so taken with each other that they fail to notice they could get splatted! (yuk sorry!) | mr soul
Written by shirley_keeldar (67 comments posted) 16th April 2008 | you posted at the same time I posted so I missed thanking you!
And well done for noticing my pun in the last line!
|
Written by Veronica_Milvus (769 comments posted) 16th April 2008 | | Great poem, Shirley, I had to read it again after BBS's comments, very clever indeed, and rather poignant too. I hope you stayed friends. |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
Previous item
