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Written by Veronica_Milvus (626 comments posted) 16th April 2008 |
| plz 2 do one I canz understandz... |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 16th April 2008 |
Lovely to read aloud and roll around the mouth - still a failure to communicate - at least to me.
Phil |
Written by Katanga (1217 comments posted) 16th April 2008 |
What's the title all about - 'Explain it to the admin'? Are you setting up a challenge of some sort? I agree with the two reviews above - nice to roll around the tongue, maybe, but no sense included.
Sorry to have say this, but without further explanation from your good self, I would say this is self-indulgent gratification. Hope to see something more serious soon! |
Written by fellpony (1608 comments posted) 16th April 2008 |
foetus versifying
Comment
A nonchalant blaaaa
You said it, wt. I suspect this is more of the meta-poetry we've been seeing recently - and it's only partially meaningful even to those who do nothing but read this site. Either that or you're 'avin' a larf. |
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 17th April 2008 |
Hissed like a snake bite
Striking with might
At foetus versifying
Hunting plight
Comment
A nonchalant blaaaa
Could you please explain what this is meant to mean in our beautifyul English language which is designed to ble understood clearly. Also, I cannot distinguish one sentence from another because of lack of punctuation.
I have to agree wholeheartedly with the other writers. If it can't be understood it is neither poetry, or prose or even English in my estimation.
So if you can explain in plain English what the above means, then I am willing to accept that you may have written something. |
josie
Written by wt (137 comments posted) 17th April 2008 |
josie my dear all languages are beautiful (specially Italian I tend to think...) and are as far as I know it they are all designed to be clearly understood.
Regarding" I have to agree wholeheartedly with the other writers. If it can't be understood it is neither poetry, or prose or even English in my estimation."
If it's nice to roll around in the mouth and makes you smile, has it touched you in the way that it was supposed to? is that poetry or is it merely self gratification as katanga thinks?
Besides I think that Poetry is never "understood" as you state it to be, rather, it is merely interpreted. If it were just understood it wouldn't have the depth to carry all that is deemed poetic within it .... Anyway we could debate the nature of " what art is " for quite a while...and irrespective, what exactly makes you think that anyone has a "claim" on what English is or can be nowadays?
Also, when I last looked, stress on punctuation in poetry was sort of passe no?
... and why the dogmatic stance in opposition/rejection of what you can't quite grasp or make sense of....does that make all work that doesn't fit your own matrix irrelevant to the extent of not even being English?
As far as I'm concerned, the piece worked its mysterious ways and got Josie to comment . That's all the meaning it looks like I can pass on to you at this stage I'm afraid...unless you wish to dissect its directive, in which case I would gladly guide you through it; but you probably won't want to.
Regards
wt
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josie
Written by wt (137 comments posted) 17th April 2008 |
josie my dear all languages are beautiful (specially Italian I tend to think...) and are as far as I know it they are all designed to be clearly understood.
Regarding" I have to agree wholeheartedly with the other writers. If it can't be understood it is neither poetry, or prose or even English in my estimation."
If it's nice to roll around in the mouth and makes you smile, has it touched you in the way that it was supposed to? is that poetry or is it merely self gratification as katanga thinks?
Besides I think that Poetry is never "understood" as you state it to be, rather, it is merely interpreted. If it were just understood it wouldn't have the depth to carry all that is deemed poetic within it .... Anyway we could debate the nature of " what art is " for quite a while...and irrespective, what exactly makes you think that anyone has a "claim" on what English is or can be nowadays?
Also, when I last looked, stress on punctuation in poetry was sort of passe no?
... and why the dogmatic stance in opposition/rejection of what you can't quite grasp or make sense of....does that make all work that doesn't fit your own matrix irrelevant to the extent of not even being English?
As far as I'm concerned, the piece worked its mysterious ways and got Josie to comment . That's all the meaning it looks like I can pass on to you at this stage I'm afraid...unless you wish to dissect its directive, in which case I would gladly guide you through it; but you probably won't want to.
Regards
wt
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EXPLAIN
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 17th April 2008 |
| If you understand what you have written, explain it to us. You don't need an essay, just a simple explanation. If you can't explain it, then it is as I said: it is neither poetry, prose or anything else. We've had these silly discussions on GW before. People who try to be clever by putting combinations of words together that make no sense at all. I am not the only one on GW who has said they didn't understand what you have written. Others did too. |
josie
Written by wt (137 comments posted) 17th April 2008 |
The outcome:
“SO EXPLAIN IT TO US…” by Josie
*************
The object/design of the “poem” was to get the admin to directly ask for an explanation of it’s meaning …admin for me are Fellpony, Phil and Josie who are the backbone of the forum (title)
Oh was the sigh
Then relief in the night
The object of fright
Was a forum dry
This intro confirms to the admin that the subject at hand is the forum without clearly defining a criticism
************
Howl is the wind
Where bushmen's lingo
In blinding swirling rhythmic tempo
Hissed like a snake bite
Striking with might
At foetus versifying
Hunting plight
Comment
A nonchalant blaaaa
This is the body of the poem whose objective was not only to stir the curiosity by providing an entertaining “roll of the tongue” but to do so and also challenge the said admin (while predicting comments revolving around blaaa… ie I don’t understanz, not English….the usual... )
The imagery used is that of a bushman, well versed (excuse the pun) in hunting, teasing a snake whose chances at surviving the ordeal are as high as a that of a foetus that is being aborted (something that would upset Josie as she is the hardest one for me to drag into dialogue)
************
Urban to the max
Like relevant nutella
To the toast spread and crunched
and chocolate white
Explain it to the admin
Smooth terracotta
This of desire
The owl's sated hoot
And mice
This is the play on words which assures that the poem achieves its desired outcome
Urban irritating the rural, chocolate white, melato, lingo, new English…
Again Josie and her Queen’s English and punctuation…
Smooth Terracotta, easy to explain
…when you’ve seen an owl hunt mice…
Hope this is useful Josie, I am just experimenting with the power that words and meaning can have .....and the effect of various "englishes" on the reader
I think that pretty soon, the written word will become obsolete , and that part of what we are involved with here is in releasing its "magic"
Best
wt
EXPLAIN |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 17th April 2008 |
Hmmm...
I'll not speak for Fellpony or Josie - just myself. I am not 'admin' - literally, metaphorically, or otherwise. I do write the odd stupid verse, read just about all the poems that appear here and comment on a fair few. I guess I'm attracted to poetry, particularly the reading of it.
As I said above, I like this for the lovely way it sounds. My personal take is that I'd like to take a little more away than that. I'm more than happy to work away at poems and peel back layers - if I can. I don't want, nor ask for, an explanation. If the meaning doesn't come across after some thought and a few readings it's either a failure of the writer or my intellect. Explanations shouldn't be needed. I'll happily concede that I may be wrong in wanting more from a poem than pleasant sounds - others may be happy with that, I feel a little cheated.
To be honest, like Josie says, this debate has been had before around these parts. It normally ends up with someone taking their ball home. I'm not that interested any more. I'll just comment when and as I feel I can and want. Blaaaa? Could be.
There's a comment I ought to make about metapoetry - but perhaps shouldn't - it could be misconstrued.
Phil |
Written by Brett (781 comments posted) 17th April 2008 |
Even your explanation is as pretentious as your poem.
If you need to write on the grounds that it needs to be deciphered by a handful of faceless reviewers then you have little to say at all.
I have no doubt that you are experimenting with words (aren't we all?) but there seems to be little power - everything, to me, seems dislocated. As for the written word becoming obselete and us being involved in releasing its 'magic' - well, I hasten to ask for an explanation if it's anything like the last. |
Written by Canadian_Bacon (110 comments posted) 17th April 2008 |
I don't know why everyone has to hate on this so much. Did it make sense? No, but that was the point. Therefore, your experiment succeeded.
I tend to disagree with Josie's thoughts on the strictness of grammar in poetry. As you say, it's about interpretation; there are no rights or wrongs. That's not a license to butcher the language, but it's a license to do experiment, just as you've done.
As for you sounding pretentious...well, I can't disagree. Your explanation definitely came off snotty. But so did Josie's comments. I guess an eye for an eye isn't the best way to do things, but I don't fault you.
I'm hesitant to outright say good job on the poem, but I do want to say that I don't think it's terrible. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3351 comments posted) 18th April 2008 |
| The meaning of every written communication is the response you get. |
Written by coosh (863 comments posted) 18th April 2008 |
| Is it about picnicking in the Kalahari? |
Written by wt (137 comments posted) 18th April 2008 |
Phil- Sure, well understood and respected... admin was not meant to define an "official" status....besides Josie was the intended subject and my first bait in "snaring her" was in "comma for Josie" written earlier ...
BBS- Exactly!
Brett- Whatever...
CB- true and yes the intention/purpose was achieved as far as I am concerned and for me it was useful exercise. The poem was not meant to be the anything more than a medium or channel...and "unintelligible" had to be one its characteristics...
Sorry for having sounded pretentious (and maybe still..) but I was merely trying to be clear in putting forward my hypothesis and methadology...I could have failed in this exercise...and would have gladly admitted it
cooch: Spot on dude
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