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The Marriage of the Whale and the Monkey |
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By Katanga
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18 April 2008 |
This is intended to be the 'consumation' of my previous effort 'The Monkey and the Whale', so please take a peek at that to put this one in context.
I'm trying to celebrate, in a rather 'twee' way, the successful union of two seemingly utterly incompatible people - please see Mia's very moving review of my previous piece, where she illustrates this with her own real-life example.
I'm not sure if my attempt to finish it with a sad inevitable element of pathos works - the evocation of mortality may be out of place? And the love-making stanza may come across as downright silly! I'd really appreciate any comments, even if it's 'Come off it John - stick this in the children's section!'
Cheers All! Happy writing!
The Marriage of the Whale
and the Monkey
The Monkey asked, the Whale said yes
And so began their marriage
Seaweed for her wedding dress
The ocean swell for their carriage
Two dolphins were her bridesmaids
Neptune his best man
Dressed in coral shell brocades
Their married life began
They honeymooned off Sicily
Set up home in a cave
Each loved the other awesomely
More with each passing wave
Their passion knew no ending
They made love three times daily
And when Venus was ascending
They had a son named Whaley
But what has become of them now you ask
As you may well wish to know
They have gone to where all twinned souls bask
Deep in the deep sea tow
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Written by Brett (722 comments posted) 18th April 2008 | A nice idea, John, but I did not enjoy it as much. However it is clear you have a love of words and imagery;
'The ocean swell for their carriage' love that line. Also I think the final two lines very powerful.
Cheers |
Written by Merioneth (79 comments posted) 18th April 2008 | "Each loved the other awesomely
More with each passing wave "
Awww  |
Written by Katanga (1131 comments posted) 18th April 2008 | Hello Brett - please see my review of your 'And . . . 'poem about Bluebell Lane. Absolutely brilliant, in my humble, but fairly experienced, opinion. (Well, I'm a 51-year-old fart who loves Yeats and Led Zepplin)
Your review of my feeble effort is absolutely to the point - I too don't like it as much as the first one. Somewhere in between my Muse went on holiday, as it were. Ho!
I liked my own line phrase 'coral shell brocades'. but anyone with a 'nature' background would probably rubbish it as impossible! Hmmmmm!
Gosh - I realise I'm a bit up myself. Tell you what - post another Villeneuve (Ha!) and I'll eat humble pie!
Seriously, though. I really like your stuff and shall investigate further...
When my Muse returns from her Greek island, you'll see more from me!
Ha! Bad luck! But your comments are always welcome, since your own poetry is to die for!
LOL John X |
Written by Brett (722 comments posted) 18th April 2008 | Muses are always on bloody holiday, John, in my experience.
I am a 35 year old who feels like an old fart, and an evening of Yeats and Zepplin sounds good to me (as an angst ridden, hero worshipping teen one of the guitar riffs I worked hardest at to learn was the intro to Heartbreaker - 20 years on it still sounds nothing like Mr Page.) Throw in some Shakespeare, Keats, early blues and jazz, Hendrix, single malt scotch or a perfectly chilled 6-1 martini and there's a night!
Cheers |
Written by mia_ms_kim (951 comments posted) 18th April 2008 | My review mentioned in your intro! Thank you, John. I actually found the ending moving. I thought it was appropriate for them - there is something about such couples finish their lives, that is very telling of their lives together, I think. "Twinned souls" - such a lovely expression, you get the feeling they are forever together somewhere, and they want to be. That is so romantic. I thought the wedding was also lovely. But making love 3 times daily? I think that might have shortened their lifespan 
I wonder if there is more story to tell about their incompatibility. Eg. Whale's friends might have thought she was marrying down, and worried for her. Outsiders might have wondered, what problem is Whale hiding? Or some would have sympathised, a "big" girl havign to settle for less. But thier genuine love proves them all wrong, and wins them over? Whaley could be both a land/sea mammal with special abilities, and make his parents delighted & proud? Maybe the couple can adopt some babies from land/sea, those who are misunderstood and marginised as they are, and form a loving mixed famiy?
Maybe Josie is right. Maybe there is a children's story in your Monkey and Whale tale with a strong message for everyone, like Nemo etc.
Mia  - Your monkey and whale warm my heart. |
Written by Katanga (1131 comments posted) 19th April 2008 | Great suggestions, Mia. Thank you! I'll get working on the short story as soon as I can find time and inspiration.
Cheers! |
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