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Poetry
Before You Go
By Katanga
19 April 2008

This is a melancholy ditty inspired by one glass of red wine too many. I'm not actually dying in hospital as I write, so no sympathy please! I suppose the idea is that many people sadly are, and that one day I probably will be, and this is supposed to reflect the fear of dying and visitors leaving.

A bit maudlin, eh?!

Small point - I've just added the word 'Here' to the beginning of the last line. I hope it scans better?



Before You Go


Write me a poem
To make me smile
Give me two
And I'll cry

Give me three
And I'll sing for you
When the sun
Hangs low in the sky

Give me four
And I'll weep no more
With no more tears to shed

Give me a kiss
And I'll rest in peace
Here in this hospital bed

Reviews

Written by Josie (2721 comments posted) 19th April 2008
OK Katanga - I've written you one up above. I do sincerely hope that it makes you smile, for that is what it is meant to do. I do hope it cheers you up. Thinking of similar verses of your own (re how to succeed in Society) will put a smile on your face also. Well done! Good try for a beginner.

Written by Brett (722 comments posted) 19th April 2008
I wouldn't say maudlin, John - it doesn't wallow in self pity. I think it a very concise piece, I like it. 
 
Nice one, John. 
Cheers

Written by Veronica_Milvus (591 comments posted) 19th April 2008
I thought it was lovely. Especially the sun hanging low in the sky. A very wistful little poem and very compactly expressed. 
 
But oh! - let's write about the life we have left and not so much about death!

Written by Katanga (1131 comments posted) 19th April 2008
Thanks Brett and Veronica! 
 
I agree, Veronica - let's celebrate 'the life we have left', though I like the ambiguity. If you read 'left' as a verb rather than your intended adjective, it makes us sound like ghosts (who have left their lives). 
 
Ha! Ha! Just after you posted this, hebe pops up with 'Chorus of the Dead'. 
 
Please see my short story 'The Little Girl and the Moon' in the Childrens' section - just to show that I'm not all gloom and doom and can be Life-affirming! 
 
Cheers! John X

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