Is there such a thing as a demi-villanelle?
You may guess from the content that this was written when manned space journeys were first made possible.
What happens when the human race
reaches past the barren moon?
In the frozen depths of space
what happens when the human race
seeing its first alien face
discovers that it’s learnt too soon
what happens when the human race
reaches past the barren moon?
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Written by Talisker (1336 comments posted) 20th April 2008 |
Very neat & clever, Sue. A wee inter-stellar conundrumette, lovely!
Plenty of "alien faces" hereabouts these days.
Did it really take you 40 years to post this???
Oli XXX |
Yes
Written by fellpony (1752 comments posted) 20th April 2008 |
| I have been looking through an old copybook from 1969 onwards, and re-reading notes of old ideas. |
Extraordinary!
Written by Katanga (1554 comments posted) 20th April 2008 |
Whoooooer! I've just about got my head round the long version - compacting the form like you have done here is awesome indeed! Love it, Sue, so difficult to do! Cheers! John X
PS Forgive me if I give it a woeful try! |
Written by Phil (7014 comments posted) 20th April 2008 |
Enjoyed this too.
I reckon it'll always be soon.
Phil |
form ...
Written by fellpony (1752 comments posted) 20th April 2008 |
I have it in the back of my mind that this is a known form, but cannot recall its name. i have another couple of these in my notebook, same form and rhyme scheme, same change of P-O-V through the repeated line.
I don't remember the sainted Mr Fry mentioning it (and I can't lay my hand on him right now to check - for which he's probably profoundly grateful). |
Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 20th April 2008 |
I've read this as a fatalistic and forlorn piece. I think the race is on to excavate the moon, Helium 2 or something like that, I've read somewhere. An alternate energy source. All that investment into space technology must mean there are big bucks and control of power in it somewhere. After the moon, then Mars? Saturn for the gas? Perhaps ET will beat Earthlings in the race.
Mia  |
Triolet
Written by fellpony (1752 comments posted) 20th April 2008 |
| I've run the form's name to earth, it's a triolet. And Fry will certainly have mentioned it. |
I knowed it were
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 20th April 2008 |
-- a triolet -- clever me -- but only because of that nasty comment someone made about Austen Dobson.
Yours is better thn his !
patterjack
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What's up with the language ?
Written by DianneH (13 comments posted) 23rd May 2008 |
I decided NOT to express my opinion on this poem ... ?
I live in the south, of the USA, and we do not use words that do not exist such as ' LEARNT ' ?????????????????
Lucy |
learned or learnt
Written by fellpony (1752 comments posted) 24th May 2008 |
| are both past participles of LEARN and both are listed in the Oxford English Dictionary. Was there something else about the language that you didn't like, Dianne? |
Sorry...
Written by DianneH (13 comments posted) 24th May 2008 |
I am so sorry for this misunderstanding on my part.
I hope you will accept my apology....
DH |
Apology?
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 24th May 2008 |
To Dianne :- It's not the misunderstanding over 'learnt' that needs an apology but snotty high-hand way you expressed yourself.
If you think you see an error it's common courtesy, here , to point it out politely, and not to openly disassocitate yourself from the work.
If you want to set yourself up as the fount of all knowledge, your work had better be damned good; to err is human after all.
And I thought you southeners were all so polite and generous!
jane |
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