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Poetry
Start Again
By LilGryphMaster
14 November 2005
This may be a bit dark...

I want to tear the world apart,
And rip the limbs from every tree.
I want to pour gasoline on wooden floors
And reduce large buildings to debris.

I want to slay the white mares in every field,
And destroy a famous piece of art.
I want to break the windows of old cathedrals
And reduce to tears a lonely heart.

I want to bleed the necks of every swine
And hold a gun to someone's head.
I want to chase down a fleeing man
And beat him till he's dead.

I want to destroy all of life's creation.
And tear the whole world apart
I want to erase every memory
And over again I want to start.

Reviews

Written by amboline (183 comments posted) 17th November 2005
There's a very powerful sense of rhythm in this which carries the mood of the piece well. My big question is: does it have to rhyme? The first verse doesn't, after all, and is very strong. The other three verses I felt were very constrained by the rhyme scheme, which forces you to use particular words ("a famous piece of art", for instance, in verse 2 - this would sound much stronger if you could actually name the piece of art you were thinking of destroying!) and construct your sentences in a particular way ("over again I want to start" in the last line sounds like something Yoda would say - it's not a natural ordering of words, and sounds very forced). I generally prefer dark stuff to be written in free verse, rather than rhyme; you get more freedom to use the words of your choice, that will best express the depth of your anguish.

Written by Raynie (4 comments posted) 19th September 2006
This is very good. Did you write it when you were angry? If so, then you're very good at letting your feelings out on paper. I like the rhyme scheme. I enjoyed reading it! :)

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