Villanelles? Pah! That's kindergarden stuff. The paradelle is the fixed form for poetic Rambos.
The paradelle, according to some sources, is a French fixed form that originated in the langue d'oc love poetry of the eleventh century.
It was said to be so impossibly hard to write that several poets died in the process , and in fact, no actual evidence exists of any written paradelles before the second millenium (when contemporary poet Billy Collins bravely ressurected the form).
The form is: four six-line stanzas in which the first and second lines, as well as the third and fourth lines of the first three stanzas, must be identical. The fifth and sixth lines, which traditionally resolve these stanzas, must use all the words from the preceding lines and only those words.
The final stanza must use every word from all the preceding stanzas and only those words. So, there you go. My first and possibly last attempt at fixed form poetry.
Love is like capturing a butterfly with a kiss
Love is like capturing a butterfly with a kiss
Waking to find you dreamt a river
Waking to find you dreamt a river.
A dreamt kiss is like a butterfly river
Capturing you, to find - a waking love.
Love is the sand where houses can be built.
Love is the sand where houses can be built.
And cities are something beyond the mountains.
And cities are something beyond the mountains.
Beyond something is, are cities where the sand
Houses love, and the mountains can be built.
Love is just moving words across the page.
Love is just moving words across the page.
In writing, impossible to read.
In writing, impossible to read.
Just page across - to read, 'Love
Is words, moving in the impossible.'
Waking to find you, and the sand-can writing
Capturing to read, in a dreamt page built beyond,
Where cities are the river - a kiss houses the butterfly,
Mountains moving across words. Love is love
Is love is. Something just impossible.
Love is to be.
|
Stunned!!
Written by Katanga (1552 comments posted) 21st April 2008 | Goodness gracious me!
This is stupendous - more like playing three-dimensional Scrabble than poetry, but somehow you've managed to create a meaningful and beautiful poem out of it.
How on earth did you do it? I mean where do you start - with a single word, an image, a line? Do you start with the end and work backwards? I'm not surprised it's possibly your last attempt at fixed form poetry, but I'm sure this would win prizes!
Having just written my own first clumsy villanelle, I think I'll give this fiendish form a miss for a while, otherwise I think I too would literally die in the process!
Yours in shocked admiration, John. |
Written by Brett (1008 comments posted) 21st April 2008 | The spirit of Collins alive and well - nice one Nathan - are you just pricking pretention or having a go at us pretentious pricks! He did - and gloriously.
Cheers, mate. |
Written by fellpony (1752 comments posted) 21st April 2008 | made more sense than some of Collins' own, anyway  |
Written by NedWilson (26 comments posted) 21st April 2008 | | Gosh, like building a castle with matching walls within walls within walls. A real tour de force whch I can only stand back and wonder at! | Thanks
Written by NathanRoberts (277 comments posted) 21st April 2008 | John: I'm a little embarrassed by your reaction, but thankyou.
Brett: The truth is, I fancied having a go at a fixed form and I really liked Collins' paradelle. It didn’t click until after I’d wrote mine….paradelle, parody (of villanelle)….I mean, I knew Collins was mucking around a bit, but it didn’t initially click that he’d invented the form. I'm more of a free-verse fan as you know, but I'm more relaxed about the forms now and despite my intro, I’ll probably have another stab at one. Cheers.
FP: Are you referring to Collins' paradelles or his poetry in general? I have only read one paradelle of his('For Susan'), which was strangely moving, despite, or perhaps because of, it's spare parts dangling at the end of stanzas.
Ned: Thanks. I think the form is a little beguiling, in that it's not as hard to compose as it seems, but I should really keep my mouth shut on such matters  . | Embarrassed!
Written by Katanga (1552 comments posted) 21st April 2008 | Hello Nathan - sorry if I embarrassed you! I just got carried away on your awesome back, as it were . . . So glad that you write above, ' . . .despite my intro, I'll probably have another stab at one.' I probably won't, due to forseeable death in the process . . .
I guess doing another one will take some time? But I'm happy to wait . . .
Maybe you'll wake up one morning with it perfectly formed in your dreams like Coleridge and his 'Kubla Khan' (Sp?).
Anyway. I can wait a while before I go ( no death and decay image intended - Ha!) . . .
Please see my soon-to-be-posted frivolity 'The tale of Jo and Len' for your hopeful (mine I mean, not yours - Ho!) amusement.
Cheers! As ever, John X
|
Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 21st April 2008 | In awe. I don't understand why English people torment themselves this way. But it seems to produce beautiful poetry.
Mia  |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (769 comments posted) 21st April 2008 | OMG! I thought you were making that up - you were, weren't you? If not I am going to award you the Milvus Medal for Services to Poetry.
I would never play scrabble with you, nor attempt a sudoku stand-off.
we are not worthy! *prostrates self like in Wayne's World*
It's pretty good, too, especially the last stanza where it all comes together, so to speak.
Respect. |
Written by beatricelouise (215 comments posted) 21st April 2008 | I love repetitious poetry, but this one is more than I ever could imagine to create. An awesome bit of writing. But I'll leave those for you. I need to live a little longer. LOL  | A Butterfly Kiss
Written by Katanga (1552 comments posted) 21st April 2008 | Out of all this torture of form you write the immortal line,
'A kiss houses the butterfly'
You'd be pushed to find an image as good as that in any blank verse, let alone under your constraints!
Simply brilliant! And I don't apologise for posting a second 'review'!
John X | Gosh, thanks again!
Written by NathanRoberts (277 comments posted) 22nd April 2008 | I'm beginning to wonder if fixed form might be for me after all....
I've struggled for days to write ten lines of free verse, going over it again and again - not knowing whether it's formed correctly, whether it's too short or too long.
In contrast, (and sorry to dispel any illusions of a torturous process), this one was written one evening sitting in front of the tv - and was actually, dare I say, fun to do, (definately more fun than sudoku, I can't really understand the appeal of that, but numbers ain't my thing!).
Cheers! |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
Previous item
