When I heard about poor Mr Prescott I couldn't stop laughing.
Interviewed earlier today John Prescott announced his secret shame and also told the world’s media that he suffers from bulimia.
“All my life I’ve tucked into burgers, pies and lardy cake washed down with mug after mug of hot Bovril. I always thought I had a mild glandular problem or big bonitis but no, I’m sick. Really sick.
I’ve had time to review my life after being fired and realise that if I want to get back into government then, for the first time in my life, it’s time to be honest.
One of my secretaries told me that after Diana went off shagging all and sundry and got a bit of grief from the press suddenly it came out that she had an eating disorder and her popularity shot back up again.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not comparing myself with Diana but this bulimia malarkey might explain my little bit of extra marital and also why I needed two jags. One fitted with shelves, a fridge, a microwave and a built in commode, and one for just riding in.
Now I’ve come out I need to find out two things.
1) When Gordon is likely to invite me back, and
2) When I should expect to start feeling sick.
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Written by Livinginanattic (473 comments posted) 21st April 2008 |
| I think it's difficult to get an original take on this story but you've done very well here. It never occurred to me that he might be getting his inspiration from Diana. Funny piece - you've captured his voice nicely here. |
Written by Phil (7014 comments posted) 21st April 2008 |
Yep - a clever angle. Mind - if he ever crashed his Jag into a tunnel support, he'd bring the whole thing down.
Enjoy - and good to see you back.
Phil |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 21st April 2008 |
It's funny. just when you think you.ve seen the last of him he suddenly pops up and goes all confessional. Someone ought to tell him that just because you eat till you puke doesn' t mean you are bulimic.
I really liked the concept here, that he's got the idea from Diana and having one jag kitted out as a foodstore. Actually it's almost believable. I wouldn't put anything past him
cheers
Jane |
Thanks
Written by wltshr (352 comments posted) 24th April 2008 |
Hi Living, Phil and BBS
Ta v'ry much for the kind words. It's good to be back - although I can only nip in occasionally.
If the eating disorder scam worked for Di, why not Prezzer. (Oops! The Di lovers'll eat me alive for that! And throw me up later.)
He's obviously done the bingeing now he's waiting for the vomiting to start. I heard that he only puts his fingers down his throat if he's holding a cornish pastie.
Best
Wltshr |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 24th April 2008 |
Never mind whenever you can we'll be glad to see you. Thanks for the dedication, it's got me thinking that I really should try and write something about old Prezza. It's just too good to ignore
cheers
jane |
Written by PuppyWuppy (29 comments posted) 24th April 2008 |
I personally think it is bull about the eating disorder. The guy is as big as frikin house! Bulimic people are meant to be skinny and ill looking.
Mind you, being starved of nutrients is probably the reason his sausage is only a chipolata!  |
Hmmm.
Written by wltshr (352 comments posted) 25th April 2008 |
"I personally think it is bull about the eating disorder."
Hi PW - I'm pleased that you agree with me but where's the review?
Best
Wltshr
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Written by coosh (923 comments posted) 26th April 2008 |
| Also liked the idea of the Diana connection, and this comes across like many Prescott pieces, with cynicism and a certain number of grotesque images. Interesting how this story coincides with the publication of his memoirs (which contain none of the required kiss-and-tell revelations) and how, of course, his wife and family have stood by him - as he repays them by shagging a few secretaries. I looked up Lardy Cake to see if it was real (!!) and now realise it's a genuine Wiltshire delicacy. Enjoyable and informative. |
Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 26th April 2008 |
Not a review, just a comment. I saw the guy on the oz news the other day, and wondered why on earth some bulimic guy in UK (he didn't look too skinny to me) should be of any interest to us. Then I found this piece, and all the reviews, and then I understood. I found this piece cynical and funny, but my guess is that it probably has a lot of truth in it. Enjoyable & informative.
Mia  |
We've all got the same eating disorder
Written by Josie (2854 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
| I have to say that I go along with the rest of you. He certainly didn't look like a man who had an eating disorder - but did he say what kind of disorder it was? Perhaps it was an overliking of burgers and chips, cream cakes, sausages etc. Oooh - perhaps we all have the same eating disorder. Now who is going to serve me with sympathy and chips? |
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