OMG, I'm SO sorry. It's just that I've been listening to too many Jack Johnson songs on the way to work, and the sun is shining...
A girl can dream - ok?
SURFER CHICK
I want to spend the summer as a surfer chick
where the waves are awesome and the sand is thick
where the tide sucks gently at my silver-ringed toes
at Whitsand, Carbis Bay and Porthcurno.
I want to hang out with the Australian guys
with their burnished pecs and their sea-green eyes
we’ll slather our bodies with sun tan lotion
and we’ll ride the barrels in from the ocean.
I want to sit by the fire with an old guitar
singing and passing round the scrumpy jar.
and they’ll tell tall tales of the waves they’ve seen
at Angourie Point and Narrabeen.
I want to walk barefoot in the moonlight, please
to your camper van, parked beneath the trees
and we’ll drink black coffee from a plastic cup
and rock the suspension ‘til the sun comes up.
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Lovely Naughtiness!
Written by Katanga (1552 comments posted) 22nd April 2008 |
I love the dreamy carefree abandon in this, throwing all caution to the wind.
The last two lines are great, suggesting that to drink coffee from a plastic cup is the height of rebellious wildness, on a par with the long night of rumpy-pumpy that follows.
Why can't a girl dream, indeed?!
Cheers! John
PS 'slather' - what a good choice of word. I thought you'd invented it until I looked it up! I'm not very experienced with sun tan lotion, but I like the rhyme with 'ocean'. |
Written by fellpony (1752 comments posted) 22nd April 2008 |
good fun, with a great feel of abandon  Technically very well made. Liked it a lot! |
Written by punchy (535 comments posted) 22nd April 2008 |
Great stuff, gave me goose bumps!
I liked the "please, to your camper van" made me smile.
Paula x got me dreaming now.
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Me too
Written by Josie (2851 comments posted) 22nd April 2008 |
| I'd like to join you too Veronica, but I have seen many an ocean of the world and lived in Jersey for three years, but I have lived in Yorkshire for 21 years and never been on Scarborough Sands, so let me do this first of all. What a lovely poem. I loved your images. |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (769 comments posted) 22nd April 2008 |
| OK Paula, and Josie, you can both come along, but we'd better share out those Australians fairly! |
Written by Phil (7013 comments posted) 22nd April 2008 |
Loved it. That please in the middle works so well. Mid life crisis?
Good stuff, much enjoyed.
Phil |
The Aussie ute ...
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 22nd April 2008 |
... with canopy and mattress , possibly more often than a camper van , saw many an act of copulation . Oz blokes in Pommyland might use the campervan more .
Byron Bay , Noosa are notorious shagging grounds but the really wild waves are to be found elsewhere -- not too sure about the wild chicks though .
Here there was for a long time a very macho culture-- the chicks were just something to ride as well as the surfboards .
Many of them suffered Puberty Blues
I won't comment on the nostalgic tone , the skilful structure , the
the rhyme , the rhythm -- they are beyond my ability to choose the right words of praise
patterjack
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Image
Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 22nd April 2008 |
No -- I will comment further -- sucks gently at my silver ringed toes --- that is mind bogglingly good
patterjack |
Written by Brett (1008 comments posted) 22nd April 2008 |
Very enjoyable, V, with some skillful rhymes - and, oh, what a final line. Exquisite.
Cheers |
Mid-life crisis?
Written by Veronica_Milvus (769 comments posted) 23rd April 2008 |
Thank you all!
Mid life crisis? Yes, definitely, a very bad case. I don't think I had enough of a mis-spent youth (but you had better ask the mis-spent youth whether he agrees with that).
The "please" was just squoze in there to make a rhyme. It seems to have other qualities. Good!
pj - the camper vans are traded all over Europe from Aussie visitor to Aussie visitor. They are often seen in Cornwall with surfboards strapped to the roof and one of those yellow diamond shaped "watch out for roos" stickers on the back. Too bloody cold in Cornwall for anything much more outdoorsy than that. However I suppose the ute and canopy was a bit like a superior sort of tent.
Of course what I didn't say is that the surfurs have to wear wetsuits in Cornwall, but possibly not in Narrabeen. The water is officially "bracing".
Anyone else got a fantasy suitable for publishing on a family site? |
Written by Mr_E_Writer (226 comments posted) 25th April 2008 |
Oooh, naughty but nice!
I want to hang out with Australian girls
all burnished breasts and sun-bleached curls
I’ll slather their bodies with sun-tan lotion
then prove (scientifically) perpetual motion.
You poem is cool...
Well, you wouldn't want a warm one, would you?
Eric |
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