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Poetry
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Guinea pig is dead
By punchy
22 April 2008


A lonesome guinea pig asleep
In hutch out on the deck
Unaware of what was there
About to wring his neck

All snuggled in his straw lain bed
With woodchip soaked with piss
When from behind his tousled rear
There was a subtle hiss

A snake had snuck into the hutch
Through the damaged door
Where the foxes had been working hard
Late in the night before

The snake he spun into a coil
And strangled guinea dead
And slowly he then swallowed whole
From bottom through to head
 
The sun came up and children came
To give their pet some hay
But there inside the wooden hutch
A rather round snake lay

The children they were over joyed
A magical surprise
How clever was their guinea pig
A master of disguise

Reviews

Written by Veronica_Milvus (637 comments posted) 22nd April 2008
That's fantastic! Poor old guinea pig won't be metamorphosing again, I suspect. 
 
Fabulous. And rather original!
Masterful!
Written by Katanga (1229 comments posted) 22nd April 2008
Or do I mean 'Mistressful'? 
 
Anyway, despite the constraints of my praising language, I think this is great! (overjoyed = 1 word - sorry) 
 
The guinea pig has no name - so, small point, but why not give her / him a capital 'G' in the fourth stanza? 
 
The last stanza is fantastic - children are usually glorified with innocene in smaltzy stuff - here they are gently mocked with stupidity. Whoooo! 
 
Reminds me of when, 45 years ago, a cat bit the heads off some friends' of mines' pet rabbits - the adults were upset - the children barely noticed! 
 
Ho! Cheers! John 
 
Ps Never been able to work out how to use apostrophes in complicated phrases . . .

Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 22nd April 2008
Clever idea - and many children would love this - though I expect a fair few parents might object to 'piss.' 
 
Enjoyed. 
 
Phil
Sadly.....
Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 22nd April 2008
...I'm on a dry spell at the moment - usually when I write my worst, most crass 'poetry.' You've given me a fabulous idea. ;)  
 
Phil
Next door ...
Written by patterjack (1196 comments posted) 22nd April 2008
... in another suburb the daughter owned a guinea pig which was the stupidest of generally stupid animals . It frequently came into our yard -- and browsed on while totally ignoring our Siamese -- who , no doubt puzzled by such insensitivity to danger , would stand wonderingly , almost astride it , till we rescued and returned it. 
 
Great idea and great fun -- though not quite as well expressed as you are capable of . 
 
patterjack

Written by punchy (500 comments posted) 22nd April 2008
Thankyou all. 
John, thanks I'll correct the old grammar shortly. 
Poor rabbits, thats stuff of nightmares! 
Veronica thankyou sooo much 
 
Phil ,I am looking forward to your poem. Will it be dark? or rude? Go on shock me 
 
:eek  
Pattterjack, cheers. Maybe my lack of expression is due to lack of cash and an empty cellar. Usually I'm on the wine when I write and tonight it's tea :(

Written by Brett (785 comments posted) 22nd April 2008
Another unique poem, Paula, and I agree with John that the last stanza really works a treat - And what is more you acheived this on tea? Uurrgghhh! My sympathy and congratulations. 
 
Cheers
Just a hint
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 23rd April 2008
There was just a subversive hint of Saki about this that I warmed to. 
If you gave it a quick edit after a bottle of good Merlot I'm sure it would be wonderful 
Jane

Written by Mr_E_Writer (187 comments posted) 25th April 2008
Sssssssssplendid. 
:p  
I wissssssh I could buy my kidzzzzzzz a clever mutating guinea pig asssss appossssssed to the fat floppy-eared carrot cruncher they currently adore!! 
:eek  
Eric.

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