|
|
|
print friendly version
|
|
Ifan Calon Ddu (a pantoum) |
|
|
By Brett
|
|
23 April 2008 |
Ifan Calon Ddu (Black Hearted Ifan) is a grim character from one of the many legends of the vale of Clwyd.
A pantoum I always imagined was where bad cooks went after their death (if this is the case, one can only assume that straight faced comics go to a dead-pantoum! - please yourselves).
Ifan Calon Ddu has now gone home,
Whilst children tell of goblins and of ghosts,
For the devil comes to claim his own
And forever shall play Ifan's host.
Whilst children tell of goblins and of ghosts
Satan dances on his hooves with glee
And forever shall play Ifan's host
For sunlight Ifan shall no longer see.
Satan dances on his hooves with glee,
Children, scared, have all now run indoors,
For sunlight Ifan shall no longer see;
The man is kept for longer, heated chores.
Children, scared, have all now run indoors
For the devil comes to claim his own.
The man is kept for longer, heated chores;
Ifan Calon Ddu has now gone home.
|
Written by Fledermaus (3246 comments posted) 22nd April 2008 | A most interesting scheme. Cleverly written piece... Somehow it would be nice if this were set to music. It has a nice riddle-like tune to it.
But it's especially the scheme applied that is most fascinating. |
Written by patterjack (1175 comments posted) 22nd April 2008 | The very first poem i posted here on GW was an original verse which I then transformed into a pantoum
I thought they required five stanzas but am open to correction
Not bothered with the form since -- sticking to free verse , quatrains and sonnets -- much simpler and much more able to fulfil any poetic intention !
One does not have to strain grammar etc to fit rhymes and to carry over the sense from line to line
patterjack | Hi
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 22nd April 2008 | I liked this, it flows well and is a good read.
Bernie |
Written by punchy (499 comments posted) 23rd April 2008 | Dark, creepy and a good read!
Paula x |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (603 comments posted) 23rd April 2008 | | Fantastic! Is there a challenge you will not take up? Some abolutely gorgeous language here too, as well as the technical skill. "Satan dances on his hooves with glee" is a cracker. |
Written by fellpony (1600 comments posted) 23rd April 2008 | You really like these knotty problems, don't you Brett! I'm impressed, though like patterjack I don't so much like playing such games myself  |
Written by Brett (757 comments posted) 23rd April 2008 | Thanks to all who have commented.
Fledermaus - I like your idea of this being set to music.
patterjack - as far as I have learned (and that may not be very much) the pantoum can be any length the writer wishes. I agree that the form does restrain poetic intention, but as this was my first attempt I got over excited and posted it anyway.
Cheers |
Written by Josie (2772 comments posted) 23rd April 2008 | | Late, yes, but impressed! You have done really well within the constraints of keeping to a strict form. I am wondering what his heated chores were, but I guess it was something to do with stoking up a fire. ha ha. Poor soul. You've had some good reviews Brett. Well done! |
Written by Brett (757 comments posted) 24th April 2008 | Thanks, Josie, and yes his heated chores meant that - don't you pity Ifan!
Cheers |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
Previous item
