Emotions, they are with us all our lives and act as one of the primary driving forces of our species.  Whether it’s anger, fear, love or a combination of states that motivate us, you’d think we’d have a better understanding of the processes involved.

There are shrinks and psyches but let’s be honest, who in their right mind wants to visit a doctor when they treat crazy people.  Never mind the social stigma that’s involved with mental problems of any kind.

So why do we have so much trouble with emotions, I mean we have the whole range.  From the wild highs of an incandescent rage to the bleak lows of the blackest of black depressions on one side.  Then there is love, happiness and infectious humour on the other and that just to name the ‘big ones’.

So what are the triggers that set it off and what can we do to, if not stop then, at least mitigate the negative effects.  Is it the wife nagging the instant you walk through the door or having both Alan Hanson and Alan Shearer commentating on the football. 

Whatever the cause emotional outbursts, often instantly regretted, cause pain and suffering the world over.

So why do we do it to one-another?

I have to admit at this point that my emotions don’t seem to get the better of me the way they do other people.  I don’t know why, most likely some trait learned in childhood, but I never seem to suffer from the extremes of temper and temperament that others exhibit.  Instead I get irritated.

Now I know you may question this, even think it’s slightly odd, and I tend to agree but the fact is I don’t get angry and I never shout. 

Even so it’s possible I do more emotional damage while irritated than others do when having a full blown screaming fit.  In an attempt to explain I should say I have four sisters who I’m really close to, but god knows how many times one of them has run off crying when I’ve snapped at them, usually in self-defence.  I used to be left wondering what was going on, when they fought they said much worse to each other.  Then Kris, the second youngest at 20, explained it’s down to the surprise factor of my having a go back, they just don’t expect it.

Anyway, I suppose I should qualify what ‘i’ mean when I talk about emotions and how they affect you/me, or at least try in a way that might make sense to you. 

That is really where all the misunderstanding starts, in that you have your perspective, I have mine.   When we communicate we are trying to overcome this understanding barrier and not always with much success.

So then, emotions, what are they?

Well literally they are gushes of chemicals dished out by the brain to invoke a reaction from the conscious self.  Usually produced as a result of stimuli by external forces, how they affect us is a different matter entirely.

These infinitesimal ejections of pure emotion cause the whole range of human response and pretty much havoc in life, so why do some suffer more than others?

It’s common knowledge that your first seven years thought patterns are set in place that will stay with you for the rest of your life.  Likes and dislikes, morality, loyalty, trust, the list is endless and while some of these have more to do with stability in early childhood others are pure chance.

Whatever your moral upbringing we each have a set of standards or ‘code’, no matter how twisted or rigid, that we try to live by.  Whether you recognise it in yourself or not we all have a stock of responses that we use without thinking for most everyday situations.

So what you ask, well, have you ever been with someone close to you, a partner, sibling or close friend.  You’re enjoying a quiet moment and relaxing in each other’s company when all of a sudden they explode, either in unspecified rage perhaps even tears? 

While you struggle to understand what the hell is going on, an explanation (if you get one) usually takes a while; they have reached a kind of emotional plateau.  After what has probably been a long struggle under some emotional strain the sheer normalcy of the moment, the reflex of relaxing in your company, tips them over the edge. 

It’s as if there is a wall of stress pushing one way and they have been pushing the other, but in the moment of relaxing they forget the wall and it engulfs them.

This is a relatively benign, although perhaps shocking at the time, response scenario and indeed there are as many more subtle variations as there are more overt. 

I think the trick to emotions and dealing with them on a personal level begins with introspection, get to know yourself and how you react, you may be surprised by what you find and how useful that knowledge can be when dealing with others.

Now over the years I’ve found that sometimes and in my case, with long practice, I can spot the danger signs before things get to the critical state and if I’m lucky find a way to mitigate my angst.

So to end and I suppose you guessed, today I find myself irritated and writing this piece as a form of catharsis to save any outbursts, or in my case general waspishness.  But there you go; I feel that when you really have to get it off your chest find a non-lethal way of doing so.