As this is St George's Day, I have written this piece, and have taken most of what I have found from "Acceptable Behaviour in England" - the Woodlands School, Kent very good website.
As this is St George’s Day, I am giving you the chance to speak up about your Englishness and tell us whether the following claims to Englishness are correct or not.
I have to tell you that these are not my claims, invented by me, but are what I have just read on an internet website.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statements:
1 British people place considerable value on punctuality.
2 “Call round and see me” or “Drop in at any time” are not meant, for to do this without first having made an arrangement is considered impolite.
3 Never accept an invitation with a date or time unless you intend to go as not to turn up is considered very impolite. If you find, after the invitation has been accepted, that you are not able to go, please tell your host/hostess well in advance.
4 It is polite to take a small gift for your host/hostess, ie some flowers, or chocolates, or a bottle of wine for a meal.
5 It is considered polite to write a thank you note to follow up the occasion.
6 Everyday clothes are considered polite for most visits, but for parties it may be considered that wearing something a little “smart” may be appropriate.
7 It is proper to shake hands with people to whom you are introduced and say “Pleased to meet you”. Hugging and kissing is only considered appropriate for friends, and this has come more into custom during the last 30 years.
8 It is polite to introduce a man to a lady: eg “Ann, I would like you to meet Robert”, and introduce a younger person to an older person: “Mum I would like you to meet Janet, a friend from university”.
9 It is polite to tell your host/hostess if there is something which you cannot eat well before the evening meal, rather than turn down the food offered to you.
10 In Britain we eat with our knife in our right hand and fork in our left hand, not just with a fork.
11 It is polite to wait until everyone is served before eating, and especially not start before the host/hostess.
12 Say thank you when you are served with food. It shows appreciation.
13 Don’t slurp your soup and break your bread into smaller pieces before eating.
14 When you have finished eating, place your knife and fork together straight on your plate, facing forwards.
15 What else do you consider important from this webpage: http://www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/customs/behaviourfood.html
16 The British view the business of queueing seriously. Jump the queue or push to the front and you will soon be reprimanded for it.
17 Contradicting something that someone has said, especially in a rude way, using words such as “rubbish” or “nonsense” is considered extremely bad manners.
18 Butting in when someone is still speaking is considered bad manners.
19 Men should remove their hats when going indoors, especially in churches.
20 Saying “please” and “thank you” are considered important in Britain.
21 If you bump into someone it is polite to say “sorry”.
22 It is polite to hold the door open for the person coming in behind you.
23 Don’t ask a lady her age, don’t stare at people, don’t spit or burp etc in public.
Is there something which has been omitted from the list - other than the things mentioned in my poems, especially mealtime behaviour for children? (I forgot: Don't throw your food at your sibling).
So, if you had to introduce new rules for behaviour, what would they be and what do you consider is the best of these rules? Also, if you are from another country, what rules of etiquette are important in your country?
|
Korean etiquette
Written by mia_ms_kim (891 comments posted) 23rd April 2008 |
1. We greet older people by bowing at 90 degrees from the waist. Failing to do so, especially if they are very old, would invite accusations of bad manners, dysfunctional family etc. These days they tolerate bowing at around 45 degrees.
2. Eat everything that's served by the host. As Korean women love overfeeding their guests, this can result in temporary immobilisation, even mild paralysis in some cases from overeating.
3. We don't start eating until the oldest person at the table pick up his spoon first. (That's sort of changing, too, at the regular family meals.)
4. We take our shoes off when we go into houses. (I think that's a good idea - think where all those shoes have been!) And we don't go barefoot into other people's houses. (I do, but older generation doesn't.) My mum carries with her a pair of sox in summer just in case.
5. Koreans want to know your age as soon as they meet you. They want to establish the age rank. Age difference makes a difference as to how they talk to and treat one another. (I don't abide by that rule.)
6. Bumping into each other in busy streets and shopping centers etc in Korea is a way of life because of overcrowding. They don't expect to apologise for that.
7. 'Ladies first' doesn't really apply in Korea. It's generally 'men first'. It's changing with the younger people - thank goodness! Men who put the elderly and women and children before themselves are attractive, in my opinion.
Hmmm... what else??? I can't think of any more.
Mia  |
Cumbrian etiquette
Written by fellpony (1507 comments posted) 23rd April 2008 |
1. Greet everyone you meet when outdoors. There are so few people about, it is rude not to.
2. You approach a farmhouse by the back door not the front (which may not be openable).
3. If invited into the house it's polite to kick off your wellies in the porch.
4. You know it's time to leave when the host/ess says, "Well," followed by a remark about holding you back in your work. |
1 more Korean etiquette
Written by mia_ms_kim (891 comments posted) 23rd April 2008 |
8. We cannot drop hints for our guests to leave. That's unthinkable. We have to ask them to stay longer even if we LONG for them to disappear. This means sometimes we are stuck with some people until we go blue in the face!
Mia  |
Written by Josie (2496 comments posted) 23rd April 2008 |
| To Mia: It is so interesting to learn of the differences between our country and Korea. We would certainly notice it if we went to Korea and a man just pushed ahead through a door and didn't open it for you, or pushed ahead of you onto a train or bus etc. We would find it very strange having to bow to someone, and I would find it very strange if someone asked me my age. One thing that my Italian friends notice particularly when they visit me in Yorkshire is that everyone they meet gives them a smile and speaks. In Italy this is not the case unless you know the person. They all say how friendly people are here because we are outward looking towards others. In Italy they tend to keep just mainly within their families. I think we have a lot going for us. Actually, if people come in from outdoors and their shoes are wet or muddy, they usually do take them off. Most people wouldn't walk across someone's carpets with muddy shoes (unless they don't want to be invited again). Thanks Sue. Yes, muddy boots? Yes, the same as here. I think life in Cumbria is the same as in Yorkshire. Thanks for your reviews. |
Cultural differences
Written by mia_ms_kim (891 comments posted) 23rd April 2008 |
Actually in catching trains in Korea in peak hours (and in Japan I think) manners don't apply. There are so many people trying to get into the train, the railway authority employ special people whose job is to push people into the trains, to squeeze in as many as possible into the carriages. At least that was the case some years ago. So some older Korean men say the reason why men go first, is to make a way for their women to follow. It is an act of service, they say. Hmmm... Don't know... 
About friendliness, I've heard it said, that people have two walls: an outer wall and an inner wall. I find that some cultures have low outer wall and a high inner wall. They easily invite you to have small chats and interesting conversations, but they don't truly let you into their lives - even after a long time.  Some cultures have high outer wall, and a low inner wall. They stay distant and polite mostly, but once they let you in, then they let you in all the way. 
I find Koreans let other Koreans in very easily. But they rarely let in non-Koreans into their lives. We are a xenophobic people.
Thank you for this very interesting discussion, Josie.
Mia  |
Written by Phil (6393 comments posted) 25th April 2008 |
There's at least some truth in each of your points, Josie. Interesting read and follow ups.
Phil |
Written by Fledermaus (3159 comments posted) 25th April 2008 |
I think Dutch customs are a lot like the English ones you mentioned. But as I occasionally have to deal with Chinese customs as well, the differences between the two are very clear. The Chinese ones seem a lot like the Korean ones Mia mentions (although I'm probably too Dutch to bow etc), and what's funny is that your point 13 doesn't apply there.
Yet what's the greatest difference is the way people handle money when eating out. Chinese will fight to pay the bill and leave a big tip, while Dutch will fight not to pay a penny more than they have eaten for. I wonder where certain English expressions come from |
More Dutch
Written by Fledermaus (3159 comments posted) 25th April 2008 |
On the above: That doesn't mean that 'to go Dutch' is necessary, just that people won't be surprised if you do (although maybe they are when you aren't Dutch? I don't know). Anyway, I find it annoying...
There are also cultural differences between the Netherlands north of the rivers and south of the rivers, as southerners are generally far more open.
For instance: southerners greet people (women at least) with three kisses, while northerners are more aloof. Southerners are usually not surprised by unexpected visitors, while northerners expect one to make an appointment first and most strikingly: Southerners have visitors sit at the kitchen table, while northerners take them to the living room. |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register.
Previous item
