ZZZZZZZIP.
   "Ooops!" exclaimed Fireflash as he surveyed ground zero. "If only the game hadn't gone into extra time! And if I hadn't stopped off for a pizza on the way over!! And then there was that quick pint with Supertwister, Lady Lightning and Dynamic Man at the Rose and Crown!!! If only I'd arrived sooner... Um, I'd be dead, as well. Ho-hum, every cloud!!!! I'll just zip in and see if there's any survivors."
ZZZZZZZIIIIIIPPPPPPP.
   From a shadowy doorway, Doctor Tesslercoil surveyed the carnage wrought by his twisted hands. "Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." 
ZZZZZZZZZZZIIIIPPPPP.
   Having clawed his way through the rubble, Fireflash returns to the surface with an unconcious Miss Indestuctible - the gentle movement of her ample bossom proving that she is indeed indestructible, albeit headless
   ZZZZZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPP.
   Next comes Hydrogen Man who, having exploded, is missing one arm and both legs.
   "Hey-ho, beggars can't be choosers," mused Fireflash, recalling that he'd never really got on with H-Man.
   "Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo," sobbed a small child standing in a shadowy doorway not unlike the one that Doctor Tesslercoil had been standing in only moments before.
   ZZZZZIIIIPP.
   "What's the matter, son?"
   "My daddy was in there. He's a hero."
   "What's your name, son?"
   "Timmy Green"
   "Ah! Power Ring's kid!! Dont worry, son, I'll zip back and have a look for him."
   ZZZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIPPPPP.
   "Bad news, son. Your dad WAS a hero."
   "Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo."
   "But good news, I've found his ring."
   "Eeeuuw!!"
   "His power ring."
   "Oh!"
   "Timmy Green, it is now up to you to assume the mantle of Power Ring."
   "But I'm only five!"
   "Um... Yeah, right. Gotta dash." ZZZZZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPP.


NEWS FLASH

Government Wiped Out By Nuclear Blast
Minister of milk monitoring, Gertrude Sproggit, assumes role of PM.


SMALL AD: WANTED

Are you different (But not a sexual deviant)?
Do you want to make a difference?
Have you got any super powers? Anything will do, honest.
Then please call 0208-IAMHERO today to arrange an interview.
Ask for Bob.
Please note that all calls are charged at excessively high rates to help pay for our large offices and the high-class hookers.

***

What next for our band of ex-intrepid heroes?
Will little Timmy Green learn the secret of his father's mysterious ring?
Will milk prices be affected by the PM's love of Crunchy Nut?
Which new heroes will answer the call to arms?
Will Hydrogen Man find his missing arm?
Are you a Crunchy Nut nutter?

The answers to these questions, but no more, in the next thrilling episode of....
The story that church ministers will try to have banned...
Playing in a cinema nowhere near you...
On the top shelf at your local newsagent....
In...
No1's (pronounced No-one's) HEROES - THE INTERVIEWS.