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Poetry
A Grave Night
By Alice
19 November 2005

As I've been around for a while now, I thought it was high time I contributed some work.  This is a poem that I wrote a while ago - I'm playing it safe and dipping my toes around the edges of the water.  Any feedback appreciated. 

Cheers

Alice


Dusk Falls
            On darkened ground
A shallow grave
            All around
Coldness creeps
            Along the shadows
In waving sweeps
            A lone wind blows
Splitter splatter
            Water grey
Puddles pattern
            There they stay
Outlines from
            Folk I knew
Lovin' Mom
            Love you too.

Reviews

Written by jean.day (2283 comments posted) 19th November 2005
Very atmospheric poem. I like it very much.

Written by amboline (183 comments posted) 22nd November 2005
I agree. "Water grey" is particularly effective. The music in this is very powerful. Nice one!

Written by Rattle_Spear (93 comments posted) 24th November 2005
Grey environment where the grey people stay. I sense death. 
Well done, the message come through quite clearly. :roll

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