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By Katanga
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26 April 2008 |
This was inspired by W.H. Auden's 'As I Walked Out One Evening'.
I have clearly tried to echo his style here, and having just read his poem again before posting this, I am deeply humbled.
For Joanna
I was there
There in the morning
You were lost in the afternoon
We were here
Here in the evening
With all hope gone too soon
Then the waves
The waves came crashing
Crashing down on our shore
My words were drowned
In the raging
The raging wild sea’s roar
But now the wind
The wind has found shelter
And whips up our seas no more
The waves are lapping
Even
Gentle on our shore
And so I remember thinking
Thinking what shall I say to you
Only that I love you
I love you
Through
And through and through.
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Written by Veronica_Milvus (603 comments posted) 26th April 2008 | The first three stanzas work for me pretty well, John, but the last one, although I understand you are saying that there is nothing more important than that to say, I think is not so strong.
It has a lovely feel to it.
V | Good Point!
Written by Katanga (1182 comments posted) 26th April 2008 | Many thanks for this, Veronica! I entirely agree - the last stanza doesn't really say a lot, though I'm quite attached to the lines 'I love you through and through and through'.
I shall give it a good ponder and possibly a re-write if I can find a better idea!
I love your work, by the way, and shall spend some time looking through your earlier stuff anf posting reviews.
Cheers! John X |
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