The bathroom mirror is a circle
held inside a smoked square.
If you stand five to six feet away, naked,
with legs and arms outstretched,
the full body of Reason appears: suspended,
in flat reflective space.
But a mind,
even after sixteen years,
is still drawn in flickering conversation
with silent electricity of a dying bulb.
One flash for no. Two for yes.
The only proof you were ever here.
|
Written by Veronica_Milvus (769 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
A great image! I loved the first stanza but was a little confused by the meaning in the second. Did some past Significant Other buy the mirror for you / with you?
And a grammatical point - why not the "silent electricity of a dying bulb"?
But a lovely, still sort of feel to this. You might say - reflective!
(sorry)
|
hi
Written by maipenrai (784 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
very good visuals in this, enjoyed the read.
Bernie |
Written by NathanRoberts (277 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
Thanks Veronica,
Is 'silent electric' not grammatically ok? I just prefer the flow of it, but we all read poems at our own rhythms.
I don't wish to give too much away regarding my interpretation. |
Written by NathanRoberts (277 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
Hi, maipenrai...and thanks.
'I don't wish to give too much away regarding my interpretation.'
Damn, I wish you could edit these comments sometimes!
Two seconds after writing that I was cringing. the things is, I like hearing how people interpret things differently, then sometimes the author gives their version and all the interpretation stops. There...that doesn't sound too pretentious  |
Written by Phil (7014 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
I put off reviewing this one to see what others said - chicken that I am. Like Veronica, I really liked the first - graphically stark - but got lost in the second.
Phil |
Hi Nathan
Written by Brett (1009 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
Have to agree with Veronica regarding 'silent electric', it just doesn't scan, I'm afraid. Though there is much to admire in this piece, again like Veronica and Phil, it is the first stanza that is the winner. The final two final lines obviousely sum up what you are attempting to get across - and seem very lucid: it is the rest of the stanza that seems vague (though this may well be your intention) apologies if I have misread. All the best.
And cheers |
Thanks all!
Written by NathanRoberts (277 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
No-ones made a comment about the title and it's connection to the poem yet...
I'm like that when I'm reviewing other's poems...afraid to write my intrepretation in case I get it wrong!
Two comments about the 'electric' line, so I changed it. Maybe my scanning is faulty, 'cos it seems overlong now, but I'll see how it reads in the morning!
Cheers
|
Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 28th April 2008 |
Another riddle. The reflection in the mirror looks like the Vitruvian Man, yes. A thought-provoking stanza. Now the mind - is the person 16 years old? Why is he saying just yes or no, as if he is someone who only has a functioning brain and little else eg. like some terrible accident victim? Are you saying despite all human claims to cleverness, we really are so pitifully limited that all our educated talk is primitive? Totally puzzled.
Mia  |
Spoilers!
Written by NathanRoberts (277 comments posted) 28th April 2008 |
Hi Mia,
probably time to lay this one to rest...
Yes, the image of vitruvian man was perhaps so obvious that no-one commented on it.
The circle and square in Da Vinci's drawing have been taken to symbolise the Body and Mind:
'He believed the workings of the human body to be an analogy for the workings of the universe. It is also believed by some that Leonardo symbolized the material existence by the square and spiritual existence by the circle.
Thus he attempted to depict the correlation between these two aspects of human existence.'
from Wikipedia
The body seen as a symbol of the workings of the universe...and a universe as seen by the rational mind/Reason became more and more mechanical, divorced from spirit and mind (not Leo's fault but I guess he was a forerunner).
Reason literally flattened the universe, effectively crushing the notion of spirit in the process (and we're still suffering from the fallout). But despite this flattening, and all attempts by the reductive materialists I believe most of us still live our lives as if the body/mind dualism were a reality.
As an aside: When I ran this poem through googles translator (just for kicks...yes I must get out more) and set it to traditional Greek, 'mind' was translated as 'spirit'.
In the 'obscure' second stanza, the mind in question is my mind (and no, I'm not sixteen years old..though my emotional brain age is another matter..), conversing with a spirit through the code of electricity (blimmin obvious ain't it!?? ), though the 'sixteen years' bit would indeed be a riddle to everyone else. (it may become clearer in a later poem if I ever have the guts to tackle the subject).
The fact that people saw the body stanza as fairly clear and lucid and the mind/spirit stanza as obscure and puzzling is really what you'd expect...one is objective/surface (at least, partially...I add a subjective interpretaion in the last two lines), the other deeply subjective (though not entirely!).
Now, why couldn't I have said all that in twelve lines?
|
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register.
Previous item
