I was reading the exchanges between Brett and Katanga - regarding a spelling error called Alice - and this is the result.
It feels to me more like a song than a poem.
For Alice
On the old A-road out of England
Lies a graveyard of knackered out ‘vans,
Once sumptuous six-berths with flush toilets,
Now rusting heaps past their life-span.
In the one at the end near the turn-in,
Lives Alice, our heroine dear.
Like the ‘van she lives in, she’s past it
But was once the belle of Rhyl pier.
She sits in the galley style kitchen
And stares through the steam fogged cracked glass
At the cars as they speed, going Westward,
And remembers her life as a lass.
At eighteen, she was tall, blonde and handsome.
She sold ice cream to the crowds on the pier.
Her looks made her stall young men’s favourite
And they’d come buy her wares to be near.
She was never without her admirers
And often went out with a ‘beau’
For nothing more serious than dancing,
Then came Alf, with his wild oats to sew.
A six foot tall docker from Bootle
On his works week and out for a thrill,
Took Alice behind the Queen’s Dance Hall
And cruelly went in for the kill.
It wasn’t so much a knee trembler,
As a one sided wrestling match,
And Alice succumbed to Alf’s yearnings
There, on the cold concrete patch.
Weeks later, and showing, poor Alice,
Had to leave her seafront bed-sit.
Her landlady didn’t take kindly
To girls who had clearly done ‘it.’
Taken in by a spiv on the backstreets,
Who arranged for an end to her woe,
She was put to work only weeks later,
Worked her patch for ten bob a go.
Years passed and her looks starting fading
And her price fell, so losses were cut.
Again, Alice found herself homeless,
Just another, worn out old slut.
Now, on the old A-road out of England
Lies a graveyard of knackered out ‘vans,
Once sumptuous six-berths with flush toilets,
Now rusting heaps past their life-span.
In the one at the end near the turn-in,
Lives Alice, our heroine dear.
Like the ‘van she lives in, she’s past it
But was once the belle of Rhyl pier.
She sits in the galley style kitchen
And stares through the steam fogged cracked glass
At the cars as they speed, going Westward,
And remembers her life as a lass.
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3331 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
Phil, that was fabulous, a real treat. It was more of a ballad, like one of those Country and Western songs, as it had pathos and a touch of humour; but more importantly it told a story. I'm not always happy about repeating verses but it worked so well, here,because after her sad story they take on added meaning. I kept waiting for a line about only a hard shoulder to cry on but I realise that would have put it in Tammy Wynette territory and had us cringing,but this had some genuine sentiment at it's heart despite it's bawdy wit. cheers jane |
No, no, no Written by Josie (2780 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
| You've got this completely wrong Phil. You've only seen a man's side of the story. In fact Alice has done extremely well in life. She had a wonderful son who excelled at everything he touched. He's a multi-millionaire now (don't tell his Dad), and his wonderful mother, Alice, has her own home and servants waiting on her hand and foot. Didn't you hear about this? She lives in a SUNNY clime - far away from Bolton - so you haven't heard of her good news in your local paper. |
Phil Written by Brett (759 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
if I was Fred Astaire I would be tipping my top hat to you. Not only is this the funniest of this stream, perfectly written (so less of the poetic form retard stuff) but you are only 5 miles out! Yes, sunny, shitty Rhyl is only up the road. 'The belle of Rhyl pier' hate to be pedantic, but it does not have one - though in fairness if it did the town would probably still lack a belle. Rhyl's prom has now been 'madeover' into a ghastly children's village. Still a great read, Phil. Cheers |
Hi Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
got to tell you that I think this is a great write, I love "story poems" and the demise of poor Alice is a good un. Bernie |
Written by Phil (6687 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
| Cheers all. I googled Rhyl Pier - and apparently there used to be one. The last reference was 1899 though - so fair point. It probably went decades ago. |
Written by Phil (6687 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
I don't know if this will work, but: photo of Rhyl Pier
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Pier point. Written by Brett (759 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
Nice photo, Phil. At first I thought it may have been the one at Colwyn Bay (and that's regarded as a danger). Still if Rhyl had a pier that long ago, then sure there must have been one good looking woman too. Thanks, Phil. |
Yes Yes Yes! Written by Katanga (1182 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
Ha! Ha! Love it. The first line - is that an allusion to Talisker's 'The Old M-Eight'? (A moving piece if ever there was one!). I agree with all above, with two anally picky comments: I would take out the comma after 'stall' - otherwise it reads as if she stopped on a hill-start, and the line 'And Alice again found herself homeless' is a bit syllable-crammed. Why not: 'And Alice found herself homeless' or 'And again she found herself homeless'? Fantastic, anyway . . . John XXX
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Written by Phil (6687 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
| Thanks John - I'll have a look. |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (603 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
I can see somebody like Jasper Carrott or Mike Harding singing this. Of which IMHO the best line was the: "one sided wrestling match". again, tidy. |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (603 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
I can see somebody like Jasper Carrott or Mike Harding singing this. Of which IMHO the best line was the: "one sided wrestling match". again, tidy. |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (603 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
| oops sorry I liked it so much I posted twice! |
Alice is at it again Written by Brett (759 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
Check out the CD of Noel Coward in Las Vegas for his song about Alice! None of us can compete. Cheers |
Written by Phil (6687 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
A free snippet at: Song And lyrics: ALICE IS AT IT AGAIN Written for the London Musical "Pacific 1860" (1946) (Noël Coward) Noël Coward - 1955 Now I should like to sing you a song about a simple country girl who always kept her eye on the future..... In a dear little village, remote and obscure A beautiful maiden resided As to whether or not her intentions were pure Opinions were sharply divided She loved to lie out 'neath the darkening sky And allow the night breeze to entrance her She whispered her dreams to the birds flying by But seldom received any answer Over the field and along the lane Gentle Alice would love to stray When it came to the end of the day She would wander away unheeding Dreaming her innocent dreams, she strode Quite unaffected by heat or cold Frequently freckled or soaked with rain Alice was out in the lane Whom she met there, every day there Was a question answered by none But she'd get there and she'd stay there Till whatever she did was undoubtedly done Over the field and along the lane Both her parents would call in vain Sadly, sorrowfully, they'd complain Alice is at it again Though that dear little village surrounded by trees Had neither a school nor a college Gentle Alice acquired from the birds and the bees Some exceedingly practical knowledge The curious secrets that nature revealed She refused to allow to upset her But she thought, when observing the beasts of the field That things might have been organised better Over the field and along the lane Gentle Alice would make up and take up her stand The road was not exactly arterial, but it led to a town nearby Where quite a lot of masculine material caught her roving eye She was ready to hitch-hike Cadillac or motorbike, she wasn't proud or choosy All she was aiming to be Was a pinked-up, minked-up, fly-by-night floozy When old Rajahs gave her pearls As large as nuts on a chestnut tree All she'd say was "Fiddle-dee-dee, The wages of sin'll be the death of me" Over the field and along the lane Gentle Alice's parents would wait hand-in-hand Her dear old white-headed Mother, wistfully sipping Champagne, said "We've spoiled our child, spared the rod, open up the caviar And say 'Thank God', we've got no cause to complain Alice is at it again!"
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Written by Brett (759 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
| That's our baby! |
Gentle Alice Written by Katanga (1182 comments posted) 27th April 2008 |
Ah, Phil, thank you you so much for adding this to the current banter! 'And Alice is at it again!' Priceless! Cheers! John X |
Hi Phil Written by jean.day (2266 comments posted) 28th April 2008 |
Look what I miss when I don't look at the site for a few days. Very enjoyable and cleverly written poem/song.
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excellent Written by meadowcroft1964 (102 comments posted) 28th April 2008 |
Hi ya,Phil I had a smile on my face for hours after reading this great I wish I could compete |
Written by Livinginanattic (456 comments posted) 29th April 2008 |
Loved the pathos in this. Nice comic effect with some great visual descriptions. Ben |
Written by Fledermaus (3248 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
| Aww, poor Alice. Somehow your writing often seems to be looking at a certain side of life that most people rather not look at... And then you turn it into something funny. Well delivered poem |
Where's me Hankie! Written by Diddi (80 comments posted) 28th May 2008 |
I loved this. Can I have it for a short story? You conveyed the plight of Alice so well, so sadly and so realiscally. Mind you, Phil, this is only an uninformed comment. Poignant, wrenching and unfortunately pretty much on the button. Well written. Lis. |
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