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Poetry
My Dreams
By Rattle_Spear
20 November 2005
Some of my dreams are vivid,
Some of my dreams are rare.
Who thinks them up for us,
Who sends them to share!
My dreams consist of silver streams,
As well as meadows green.
Some of the loveliest places I've ever seen,
What do all these dreams mean?
I travel through the universe,
I travel through the country side.
Sometimes with a borrowed ride!
Last night I was in Cape Town,
With sea and sun and landscapes green.
Lots of rocky mountains,
Why don't you come along with me,
Be it today or tomorrow.
We can have so much fun,
And forget about our sorrow!

Reviews
hmm...
Written by no1butClo (337 comments posted) 8th January 2006
I like your style, it's simple and eays to read, but i wonder if it'd benefit you to be a bit more experimental? 
 
I write in rigid rhyme occasionally, and it's satisfying as it all comes together, but I find that so much more can be put in to (and indeed got out of) a work if you let it breathe a bit, and spell it out less. 
 
just a suggestion :)  
 
x clo x
Breaths of passion
Written by Rattle_Spear (93 comments posted) 9th January 2006
Clo 
I take cognisance of your advice for future reference. A written poem is like history.....It cannot be rewritten. 
X bill X 
 
 
:grin

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