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Poetry
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Lambs
By Brett
02 May 2008
The children watch the lambs
from Gypsy Lane. Like rams the boys
treat tender girls like toys,
not for them to destroy the spring
that these virgins should bring;
in hindsight they would cling like frost
on time, already lost.
The Rubicon now crossed they choose
to do what big boys do;
off they go crying to their mams.

Reviews
Brilliant!
Written by Katanga (1552 comments posted) 1st May 2008
I think this is a superb fragment of poetic truth. 
 
The to-ing and fro-ing, time-wise, of emotional development - that's what I guess you're describing? 
 
'. . . they would cling like frost 
on time, already lost.' 
 
I mean, what? Where did you get that from, Brett? Your Muse must be back, refreshed from her holiday! 
 
Cheers! John X Oh, the childlike innocence of aduldhood!

Written by Veronica_Milvus (769 comments posted) 2nd May 2008
I love the line that Katanga already highlighted. There's lovely, Brett boyo, you must be treating Alice really well as she's on great form. 
 
I will have to read this a few times before I really understand it properly. But gorgeous langage and a rhyming scheme to die for. 
 
Tidy!

Written by NathanRoberts (277 comments posted) 2nd May 2008
This is a good piece, interesting rhyme structure. Like Veronica, I'm unsure exactly what it means and why the big boys are crying.

Written by Phil (7012 comments posted) 2nd May 2008
Like the scheme - does it have a name?  
 
Few words, but lots going on in terms of content. I think it works really well. I'm guessing Gypsy Lane is reasonably secluded. I got a lot from this - never sure with a piece like this whether it is intended - no matter. 
 
Phil

Written by Brett (1008 comments posted) 2nd May 2008
Thanks all. Yes, the form of this is Luc Bat.  
 
Yes V, I have been trying to be kind to Alice, but I think she has left me to attempt a sestina on my todd. 
 
And Phil, Gypsy Lane is quite secluded, but if you understood the scenario as far as I am aware that is purely fictional. 
 
Cheers

Written by Veronica_Milvus (769 comments posted) 8th May 2008
Luc Bat! 
 
you show off!

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