I was jokingly challenged to write an ode to my red devil of an electric scooter. I began it some time ago, and just today found some few lines. So I added to them rather than let them blush unseen on desert air. There are a couple of other thoughts lurking that might be added later.
Electric Beast
The three wheeled beast is feeding, lying quiet
leashed by a cord to its plug upon the wall ;
not like Eliot's
taxi, throbbing, waiting,
but caged within its underground garage den.
Its master comes to bring it forth and then
stands for a moment quietly contemplating
whether the beast unchained might leap to maul
those victims that are favourites in its diet.
Beware you children, dogs and frail old ladies !
Clear its path, or be consigned to Hades!
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Written by Brett (1009 comments posted) 3rd May 2008 |
Wonderful stuff. This has cheered me up. I love the rhyme scheme. Some great lines here... '...the beast unchained might leap to maul those victims that are favourites in its diet.' And what a closing couplet! Nice one. Cheers |
Beats a Grecian urn Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 3rd May 2008 |
So you've got one of those, have you? It's not just frail old ladies that need to beware round here. On Friday mornings Clifton Market is like Death Race 2000 with those things. I can just imagine you astride yours with a Death Mask icon on the handlebar and 'Born to be Wild" blaring out. Do you have a scoring system for pedestrians? I loved this for the wild dangerous brio of it and the devil-may-care attitude. There's a really subversive sense of humour showing that is very attractive jane |
Written by Phil (7014 comments posted) 3rd May 2008 |
Enjoyed this. The humour works well. Phil |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (769 comments posted) 3rd May 2008 |
Ah, pj, it is a good job you can laugh at fate! I loved the way you did the rhymes on this, it was very subtle and beautifully done. An unusual and poignant poem. I might have to write a matching ode to my sports car, but I love it too much to get all the joy of it into 10 lines. |
Shocked Written by patterjack (1435 comments posted) 3rd May 2008 |
That reviewers should like the piece Thank you all -- makes it worth while hacking together the stray bits and pieces on my TextEdit file . patterjack |
Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 4th May 2008 |
This piece made me smile. My boy is often in danger of being run over by one of those in the shopping centres because he is so overactive. I think elderly people should celebrate by organising races, and wearing cool gears to go with their vehicles etc as bbs says. The second half of the poem reminded me of my mother's friend, whose driving is so bad, that her husband practically warns other drivers to get off the road when his wife is on it. She once missed the driveway of her house and mowed down the low brick fence. She once ploughed into her husband's car in the driveway, which was stationary. In fact, she runs into parked cars regularly! Mia |
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