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Poetry
Forgive The Roughness Of These Working Hands
By Brett
05 May 2008
Forgive the roughness of these working hands
(if pulses gallop merely by our speaking)
uncouthly resting in your perfumed hair.
Could such fingers, daily torn by steel,
be allowed to comb through scented tresses?
And should the hardened hand that writes this verse
rest upon your shoulder for a time,
whilst these lips that bear their childhood scars
meet your mouth to cease our futile talking?
Would your breasts allow my aching palms
serenity to feel your trembling heart?
And if scarred lips then followed those rough palms
would I feel your hand embrace my head?

To rest a kiss upon each inner thigh,
before you let me taste of your sweet bounty,
I'd shoulder crosses and be crucified
time and life and time and life again.

Forgive the roughness of these working hands,
the fingertips of which yearn nothing more
than intimacy with your sacred hollow;
forgive the working of unworthy hands.

Reviews
Sad and Sensual!
Written by Katanga (1229 comments posted) 4th May 2008
 
Your hands may be rough, Brett, but your words are not! 
 
Who could not but swoon at this? 
 
Joking apart - love it! 
 
You deserve more luck with the ladies . . . 
 
Cheers! 
 
T

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 5th May 2008
There's a bit of Beauty and the beast about this. Very lyrical and sensitive, maybe a bit too tentative but I just don't believe a word of it, perhaps you protest too much. 
cheers 
jane

Written by fellpony (1616 comments posted) 5th May 2008
Sweet apology, Brett - and living in a country community where most men have rough hands, I perhaps appreciate the thought more than a lady living in a genteel town environment :) I was trying very hard to resist, but shall succumb to the temptation, to say this is a touching piece :grin

Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 5th May 2008
I liked this very much - a working man's romance - lovely. Thought the last line was very revealing and cleverly twisted around. 
 
Phil

Written by Veronica_Milvus (637 comments posted) 5th May 2008
"I'd shoulder crosses and be crucified 
time and life and time and life again." 
 
wow, Brett, the delectable Alice must have got her breakfast in bed this morning... 

Written by Brett (785 comments posted) 5th May 2008
I did anticipate some piss taking when I posted this piece, but so far I am surprised by the reviews. This convinces me that I was correct to omit the sub-heading  
'Alice Gets The Horn.' 
 
Cheers
beautiful sentiments
Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 5th May 2008
Thank you, Brett 
 
Tiny typo : Stanza 1 line 8 "bare" --> Shouid be "bear"
Bagheera
Written by Brett (785 comments posted) 5th May 2008
Thanks for that! I have amended it (That will be that single malt muse of mine again!) 
 
Cheers
Bear / Bare scars?
Written by Katanga (1229 comments posted) 5th May 2008
 
Not sure - lips can bare scars, surely? 
 
More directly, starkly and painfully than merely 'bearing' them? 
 
Worth a ponder? 
 
Cheers! 
 
John X

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