Hmm - reverting to form - puerile (and mildly rude) content. I share the blame with Brett.
David
'Symphony in Marble' or 'Muscular Man With Knob Hanging Out'
Atop his plinth, he stands, for all
To see his perfect figure: tall,
His skin no blemish, muscles taut –
Looking like we
think we ought.
His stare of confidence belies
No fear behind his soulless eyes.
Confidence brims for all to see,
A man like this we all should be.
He slew a giant twice his size
And there began his epic rise
To Bible hero, Israel’s King
And all because the boy could sing.
In later life, he was to show
That power corrupts, but we should know:
That as he stands for us to see
He shows the promise of what could be.
So why, for all his perfect form,
Did Angelo ignore the norm -
Carve body beautiful and fine
But knob too small to want as mine.
Thought this might amuse.
If David was around today....
|
ignoring
Written by fellpony (1569 comments posted) 5th May 2008 |
|
second try!
Written by fellpony (1569 comments posted) 5th May 2008 |
Ignoring the measurement statistics meant to comfort, those who ponder the last stanza -- I found this funny and clever. One nitpick - if he's got fearless eyes, the word "belies" is contradictory. You need something else that rhymes!
His stare of confidence belies
No fear behind his soulless eyes.
>>
A warrior of heroic mould
His stare is confident and cold
Perhaps? |
HI Phil
Written by jean.day (2253 comments posted) 5th May 2008 |
| Very enjoyable and clever ditty. I somehow never connected little David who slew Goliath with the statue. Isn't that odd? I just figured it was somebody called David. And I suppose little David did grow up to become strong and impressive (or mostly anyway.) |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (591 comments posted) 5th May 2008 |
| I read somewhere that the whole body is out of proportion, and in particular, his arms are way too long. |
"Meet under a statue ....."
Written by Bagheera (680 comments posted) 5th May 2008 |
" ........... ♪exceedingly bare♪ ... "
I'll Trump your David with our Dicky Lewis, and we've a cathedral to spare as well!   |
Written by fellpony (1569 comments posted) 5th May 2008 |
| Look you Blodwen, it's smaller than Owen Owen's ... |
proportions
Written by patterjack (1158 comments posted) 5th May 2008 |
The body is out of prportions so that it is in proportion as you stand below and look upwards. Or so I heard
patterjack
Nice one Phil |
Written by Fledermaus (3221 comments posted) 5th May 2008 |
| Haha. Yes, those statues often have small, err... knobs. Yet I remember an ancient one in Pompeii with a rather large one. Seems those Italian artists just can't get it right. |
Phil
Written by Brett (720 comments posted) 5th May 2008 |
You have done it again! Marvellous and witty (still deny that you're a poet?). I'm all for out of proportioan bodies and tiny members! Nothing wrong, I say.
Cheers |
'nuvva ditty!
Written by Bagheera (680 comments posted) 5th May 2008 |
David was a likely lad, a soldier boy was he
He joined the Territorials one evening after tea
And when he fought Goliath, he thought he was the gear
So he picked up a paving stone and flicked it at his ear
(boom-boom!) |
Written by Phil (6628 comments posted) 5th May 2008 |
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Phil |
Phil
Written by Brett (720 comments posted) 5th May 2008 |
Where did you get that bottom picture of me? What a do that must have been, I'm positively ashen!
Cheers |
Written by Josie (2718 comments posted) 10th May 2008 |
| Now I'm getting round to reviewing rather than writing again, I find this. Do you know, years ago, in the days of innocence, didn't young women, due to be married soon, have to go and study David? What a disappointment they must have had later. ha ha. PS When we woman have stomachs that look like this, we join Weight Watchers quickly - yet, see, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We should put ours firmly on display!! |
Written by Phil (6628 comments posted) 10th May 2008 |
| Thanks for reading and commenting. |
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