Great Writing - Home > Poetry > The Chocolate Bullet
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1603 guests online and 8 members online
Poetry
The Chocolate Bullet
By prionsa_leon_dubh
05 May 2008
This is for Lazy Writers May Topic. Enjoy!

The shell-shocked fondant rodent wiped the sugar from his brow,

How did it come to this? Why here? Why now?

So many good men have died, ginger-bread and cream,

Cherry lips didn’t stand a chance; no-one heard them scream.

 

The mouse turned gaze across the field and saw the lake of Tang,

He used to sit with his fisherman friend and swim while the whistlepops sang,

But his thoughts were swiftly shattered as millions fell from above,

A chalky white disc read “Death will be your dowry, my one and only love”

 

The mouse quickly took shelter, in an empty Smarties tube,

And called for reinforcements from the purple coloured Frubes,

Smoking a candy cigarette he covered his jelly ears,

And prayed to Mr Soft that he’d live to see better years.

 

A small fair haired child dismounted his horse and wept,

He may have had a gun but was way out of his depth,

Sent to kill a mouse the whole thing seemed so crude,

But I guess not all conflicts can be settled by giving out free food.

 

The sugar mouse saw the boy, charged, sprung to attack,

But he tripped and slipped on a liquorice stick and landed on his back,

The cowboy asked “any last words? A confession from this confection”

The mouse replied “This poem’s too sweet, I’ve got awful indigestion!”

 

Reviews

Written by Phil (7014 comments posted) 5th May 2008
Good fun. Enjoyed. 
 
Have a look at the last line of second last verse -is it quite right? 
 
Welcome to GW.  
 
I'm off to aid the kid's sweetie jar now. 
 
Phil
Whoops
Written by Phil (7014 comments posted) 5th May 2008
Doh! Welcome to GW, he says. You've been here for weeks.

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item