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A Butterfly Kiss

By Katanga

06 May 2008

Do you remember butterfly kisses at school, and I hope later?

The caterpillars' non-rhyme and unmetrical intrusion is deliberate, BTW.

Question is - does it work at all?

Cheers!

John X

A Butterfly Kiss

Cracks in the pavement
Remind me of things
Our love misbegotten
And ladybirds' wings

I know that beneath me
Where beetles crawl
Lies such suffering
Yet I walk tall

Gaps in the paving
Full of dirt and decay
Pull my eyes downward
To caterpillars

But up in the air now
Where butterflies sing
Lives a life worth adventure
Into every thing

So sit down beside me
Forget about this
I would give you my all
For a butterfly kiss

Reviews

Written by Phil (7014 comments posted) 6th May 2008

You seem to have been somewhat overlooked in the latest rush to bicker!

There's something in the ideas that draws me into this. I think it's the gaps in the pavement thing. I wrote one myself - not too good - with a similar idea. Funny how little ideas stick and nag away.

Probably not what you want to hear, bearing in mind the title and intro - but the first three, at least for me were far better than the last two. I think they were edgier and suggestive of much greater depth of danger than a butterfly kiss hinted at depth of redemption.

High falutin' baloney in all likelihood - but I know what I mean.

Phil

Much to Ponder!
Written by Katanga (1554 comments posted) 6th May 2008

Thanks Phil . . .

I shall send you a pm in due course.

Yes, I guess I started with well-intentioned tension, and then the last two were a soppy excuse for a resolve.

Again, much to ponder!

Cheers!

John X

hey
Written by Daphnerules (28 comments posted) 12th May 2008

the poem rocks but where is the thing of cracks in the pavement remind me of ladybirds wings ?? why? seems kind of non real although it's talking about you
great though
daphne xxx

Gosh Daphne!
Written by Katanga (1554 comments posted) 12th May 2008

Wow! Thanks for this! You've made me reflect, and now I realise where that very odd juxtaposition of images comes from. But I needed some help from my girlfriend, Joanna . . .

I read it out loud and she immediately sussed it:

Tra -La! "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens . . .These are a few of my favourite things!"

From 'The Sound of Music'.

Ha! Mostly unbearable stuff but, yes, that's where my idea came from, subconsciously.

Without your review above, I would never have realised!

Thank you so much!

Cheers!

John XXX

Ooooh! By the way, 'cracks in the pavement' apparently has something to do with a game in 'Winnie the Pooh'. If you tread on them, you might be sucked into the Underworld. Ha! Not sure about that . . . XXX

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