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Poetry
Another Day
By awakenedmind
07 May 2008

I wrote this to try and explain how I feel at the end of a day

awakenedmind
aka
Michael


My shoulder aches as I walk away, had my fill of work today.

The day was bright but now is glum as I prepare to follow on.

Of streets of grey they match my mood as I pass through at end of day.

I look around a friend to see, but no-one there – except me.

A light shines through a public house, all merry there as laughs come out.

I walk past slowly head held low, my meds don’t allow for alcohol to flow.

I could just visit and have a laugh, will I resist that temptress glass

So as I go to and wander home, my wife to see and dog to pee

I think about that what comes next, a pizza and TV

I should break out and think about the jobs to do and merriment too

But no I go and watch TV, nowt much there for me to do.

Motivation, the key to break the bonds of my melee.

I must change now or change will me, below 6 foot they bury me.

So here I am chaste and sad with not a lot, and it makes me mad.

So bonds to break and Company find as I chase this nondescript life of mine

I shall change and they will see that there is nowt in life to bother me.

I shall smile and they shall wonder what has happened to him and thunder

The sun comes out and dries the road, not much further there to go.

Now I’m home and there’s my tea, egg and chips with a pot of tea.

My dog lays there all peace and quiet, just waiting for that walkabout.

My tea is done and I am full, my wife just smiles and says well done.

She says not what but gives the lead with dog attached we grab my hat

A walk is nice at the end of the day, to talk and smile but nowt to say.

So that’s the end of one hard day, lots more yet for me to play

To end a day with fun and smiles is just the tonic for miles and miles

So to sleep I must rest, with work tomorrow I must be best.

So thank you God for my wife and me.

Reviews

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3590 comments posted) 7th May 2008
It goes to show there is poetry in the quotidian aspects of life and maybe it ain't so bad. I thought some of the phrasing and rhyming felt a bit forced to fit the structure. I think this would have been more comfortable as a contemplative prose piece in non-fiction. You'd have more freedom to express yourself 
cheers 
Jane

Written by Josie (2854 comments posted) 10th May 2008
The first thing which hit me in the eye was the layout of your poem. Please never send it to a publisher like this. It needs to be done in single line spacing, with a double space between verses. Then the length of the lines!! Much too long. I would urge you to read Stephen Fry's book "The Ode Less Travelled" and get some good metre into your poem. It is so well doing. I hope you don't mind my saying this. It is only meant to help.

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