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For Children
Dragons Of Earth Chapter 3
By Aurora
07 May 2008
Well here is the third chapter of my novel. I hope if you are reading this then you have enjoyed the story so far. Please leave me as many comments as you can no matter how critical or small.

Thanks very much!


Chapter 3

“Mam! Dad!” He cried in terror and panic, Elle was still out there hidden out of sight but it was only a matter of time before the dragon found her. Those huge nostrils of theirs could pick up scents as easy as he could see and humans scents were their speciality.
James rang the large bell that they kept by the door in case of emergencies. Well this was definitely an emergency! He waited his heart pounding.
Within a grueling two minutes his parents came running.
“What’s the matter?” His dad cried his face white as ash.
“Where’s Elle?” his Mam screamed seeing the look on James’ face.
“She’s still… she’s still… out there and the Dragon...” He pointed a shaky hand towards the door.
“Oh My God! Henry...” James Mam spoke shakily clutching at his dad.
“It’s all my fault, we fell down by the North wing… and we fell...”
“Shh, James, there's no time!” His dad quieted him.
“It'll be ok Linda” He reassured his wife.
“We just need to act. Run to the North tower, get the catapult loaded! James you fire the lasers from the Eastern turret. We need to distract it at all cost. Give me as much time as you can to find Elle.”
“I’ll get her!” James announced. His father looked at him and James knew he was going to refuse.
“I’m faster and I know exactly where she’s hidden. I’m going.” James looked his father in the eye, not a boy but a young man.
“NO, I won’t risk losing you too!” His Mam cried.
“Let him go Linda” his father took a resolved breath.
“He’s old enough and he’s right, I have no idea where she is.” He patted James on the shoulder as his Mam ran, tears filling her eyes, to the catapult tower.
“Take your spear son, I never told you but it once belonged to one of the greatest Dragon hunters who ever lived, your great great grandfather. He gave a shaky smile.
“Trust me it’s in you blood to get the better of these beasts.” His father smiled at him proudly.
He took more comfort from that than his father would ever know.
BANG! WHISTLE BANG. Came a moment later. That was it his Mam had started to bombard the dragon, drawing its gaze away from the door. Giving a devil may care smile to his dad James opened the door. He took in the scene before him in a split second; the dragon flying directly above him, wings ebony black against the sapphire sky, fiery breath aimed at the tower wall, the wind blowing the trees hard in the distant and the direction of where he left Elle. He made a dash for it. He did not run quietly or stay tight to the wall this time. He ran full pelt as fast as he could, jumping over bits of  long fallen rock and stone James ran like he never knew he could. The frosty night wind whipped through his long brown hair without mercy as he kept his eyes on the corner of the castle wall he was running to. Was he already too late? Had the dragon already gobbled her up? No he could not believe that. Would not believe that. As he ran he started to doubt, he should not have left her, he had tried to protect her, he had failed. His eyes searched desperately, looking around. Where was she!
Suddenly to his relief he saw a mousey brown head of curls hesitantly peer around the stone. He almost yelled with delight had it not been for the loud whistle bangs and lasers shrill buzzes reminding him that there was one very angry dragon behind them that was only just being kept under control.
He gave Elle a valiant smile.
“I promised I wouldn’t be long! Now come on!” with that he grabbed her hand and they started running with all the swift speed they could manage. The distant, calm part of his mind noted how he had ran a lot faster away from the dragon than now where he was in essence running towards the creature.
    Elle kept up, her breathing as hard as his own as they ran. Looking up James could see that his parents had already lit the defence oil trough that ran the length of the castles perimeter. The idea behind it was to set light to the oil creating a controlled fire barrier. This would confuse the dragon by thinking he had already set light to everything, stopping him breathing fire onto the rest of the castle. It was something James' father had implemented, anything they could use against the dragons was needed desperately.
    It was a long run and James could feel his breath burning his lungs. The door was in sight left slightly ajar for him to simply push open and be safe inside with Elle.
‘Just get though the door, just get through the door!’ His heart was chanting over and over at an alarming pace.
       The dragon was making the ground shake as it landed. Jumping up its wings giving it extra height as it tried to attack the tower from where his Mam was firing the catapults. Again the dragon landed heavily ready to jump up again, James supported Elle who almost tumbled with the quake.
    James worried for a second if his Mam would be ok but the sound of a laser powered blast that hit the dragon’s scaly skin hard on his side made James’ fears for her settle. He just had to keep running a little longer.
   Suddenly his ears exploded with pain as Elle’s shrill scream stopped him dead in his tracks. He suddenly realised that she was no longer holding his hand. He turned with the speed of lightning but it was not fast enough. To his horror he saw Elle, her small frame and head of mousey brown curls encased in the clutches of a gigantic dragons claw. His brain dimly noted how it was not the green claw of the dragon that was attacking. Instead it was an eerie white claw the colour of bone. He looked in terror and disbelief at the supposedly mythical white dragon that stood before him. It was about 10 metres tall, with a long snout that had nostrils the size of rugby balls with silver white smoke puffing out of them.
    James realised how quiet it was. He chanced a look at the other dragon that to his surprise was bowing low to the great white dragon, its long neck lowering his head almost to the rough ground. With a spread of its luminous green wings it took off soaring into the sky. James dared not watch it any longer but sensed it fly off in the direction of the forest. The white monster was now centre stage. It really was enormous with five clawed toes on each of it's four legs, its bat shaped wings looked tattered at the edges, both  thick and leather like. It's large armor plated scales were layer upon layer like a well tiled roof and his eyes with its engorged iris's left only a thin flash of yellow where white should be.
    Elle’s screams had momentarily faded into the back round but now James focused on them more than anything. He had to help her. His Mam and dad were powerless; they may have powerful weapons at there finger tips but with Elle being held so high up in the air there was no way they could risk causing the dragon to drop her, it would be like signing her death warrant. He had to think of something. If he could just get the dragon to put her down and fight him instead! He took up the spear, no longer a toy but his only defence, and ran towards it. He dodged the heavily spiked tail the dragon tried to knock him over with and jabbed the silver head of the spear into the dragon’s hind leg. The dragon let out a roar. James took another gamble and as the dragon’s armored tail hurtled towards him again he grabbed on and went up with it. The white creature jerked it's tail around wildly trying to shake him off but James clung on tightly inching his way up the serpents back. Spikes traced the dragon’s spine and James climbed them as if using a ladder. The Dragon's wings began to beat hard and the sheer air pressure was forcing James back but he pushed through still climbing up higher, the Dragon whipped his head around but luckily James was just out of reach of his gnashing teeth  If he could just distract him long enough then he would let go of Elle to be able to claw at him. She would run for the door and be safe and he, well maybe best not to think of that at the moment.
    It was working Elle was being lowered to the ground! He chanced a glance to where his sister was being placed not exactly gently onto the ground, just a short distance from the door he had done it! Soon she would be safe! Black.
    
Seconds maybe minutes later James opened his eyes and the world looked wrong. It was then that he realised he was horizontal, dirt was pressing painfully into his cheek and he could feel the taste of blood in his mouth, which as he licked his lip he could tell was painfully sore. In a flash everything came back to him. He sat up so fast that for a second he was dizzy. As his eyes cleared he looked around desperately for Elle. There was nothing except the castle, the mountains and the forest in sight. But wait there was movement. James focused on a figure coming steadily into view.
“Dad.”  





(c) Aurora May 2008

Reviews
Full of action
Written by BedtimeStoryteller (93 comments posted) 17th May 2008
My thoughts on this chapter: Spaces between paragraphs would help, and the first six lines could all be in one paragraph. Would the word mother (Mother when used as a name) be more appropriate than mam? 
 
Don't for get the importance of comas: His dad cried(,) his face as white as ash. Plus: James' or James's – both okay, but don't forget the inverted comma, e.g. James' mam spoke... 
 
Also: James knew he was going to refuse (refuse what?) More missing commas: Let him go (,) Linda. “Trust me(,) it’s in you(r) blood to get the better of these beasts.” 
 
...wind blowing the trees hard in the distant and the direction of where he left Elle (confusing). ...full pelt, and, as fast as he could (both mean the same thing). As he ran he started to doubt, he should not have left her, he had tried to protect her... (confusing). Looking up(,) James could see... 
 
Soon she would be safe! Black. (if he was knocked unconscious, you need to say so). 
 
Room for improvement, but full of action and very exciting, so, well done! 
 
Ian

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