Life on a farm has its ups and downs
We enjoy an idyllic life in our rural place,
A quiet steady lifestyle without a frantic pace;
Lovely scenery everyday waiting to be seen,
Five miles of unspoiled river where everything is green.
All the cattle in the field want us to be there
To share with them the pleasures of clean country air.
But mother nature has a way of turning things around,
When we find a calving cow who can't get off the ground.
Her calf is only partly born, she can't complete the birth;
Some chain, the truck, pull the calf onto the messy earth.
Just one of many things a cattle farmer has to bear,
Several kinds of heartbreak can happen anywhere.
But in the end, the balance, is the important test,
For the pleasures of farm living far outweigh the rest.|
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3331 comments posted) 7th May 2008 | The bucolic reverie at the start was fine, if a little idealised,a bit like an Editorial for "Country Living" but the poem really took off, for me in the second verse, far more vivid and honestly expressed. I realise that you were making a sort of ying/yang statement but I didn't feel the first part rang true,especially :-
"All the cattle in the field want us to be there"
They always seem supremely indifferent to me, but I admit I'm a townie, perhaps Fellpony and the others will disagree.
Perhaps if you had expressed the first verse with the same wonderful language and power of the second I would have bought into it more.
just a reaction
jane
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Written by fellpony (1603 comments posted) 7th May 2008 | Mm. I'm with BBS on the anthropomorphic part of stanza 1. I think cows are relatively indifferent to people if they have enough grass to eat. Curious, if you are within sight, but not bothered if you ain't. Unless, of course, you are the bearer of the haybale or feed sack, in which case their internal clocks have an excellent alarm system for when you're late, coupled to leather lungs and a complete lack of inhibition about volume.
Your metre gets more stuck than the calf in line 4, stanza 2...
I wonder how this piece would turn out if you dropped the idea of poetic stanzas and rhyme, which too often force factual material into mawkishness, and wrote straightforward prose. |
Written by mia_ms_kim (997 comments posted) 7th May 2008 | Another fascinating look into your life in the outback! But dear Lord, I feel for the mother cow. She must have been in inexpressible agony! I shudder at the terrible procedure to help her, chains and a truck? Couldn't just several men pull the calf out? Oh dear! Did the mother survive? (or the baby?)
I think oz cows are very curious creatures. They seem to stare at me when I go close to them - maybe they haven't seen too many Aisan humans... I once heard about a city girl who ran over a cow with her car in oz outback and killed it. So she had to buy the carcass for $300 (I think it was the law there), and since she couldn't exactly carry it home, she threw a BBQ party for the locals before she came home.
Enjoyed & envious.
Mia  |
Written by Robru (212 comments posted) 8th May 2008 |
Well Jane, cows do have feelings too and when you visit them everyday for ages then miss a day, they look for you. I had a herd of 100 or so cows and calves who used to turn up at the fence by the house when I missed out doing 'rounds' just once. The first stanza was supposed to be peaceful and easy going then the birthing started and so the second stanza changed to suit. [?]
Fellpony, I like your comments even though I disagree with some.Cows are like any other animal, when treated with indifference-they are indifferent. Line 4 stanza 2 - - sorry about the meter but that's just how its done and , to me anyway, it fits. I am not an academic and use the local idiom to describe local happenings in as clear and concise a way as possible. With regard to my writing prose I can only say "I tried that and it was terrible"
To Mia, The calf was already dead but the mother survived to be fit and well again. As for several men on a farm-- sadly there was only one.
Thank you all for your comments, each has given me something to think about for next time. |
Written by Josie (2780 comments posted) 8th May 2008 | | Great poem Robru. I, like you and fellpony, live in a rural area, but I think you will have lots more open space than even we in the Yorkshire Dales. At the moment what is attracting attention is the new born lambs running races across the fields together. It's great to see young animals playing together out in the fields. They should never be reared in pens in barns. Your poem really brought home the problems also that can occur. They have there problems with birth just as humans, of course. You must read my story about the bull who was about to charge my Morris Minor last autumn. |
Written by Robru (212 comments posted) 9th May 2008 | | Hi Josie, Where I live farms are considered small if they are less than 1000 acres. Some say that's not enough land to make a decent living.Further out from us they measure their properties in square miles. Its teh beginning of winter here and so far we have had temperatures of minus 3 celcius. We are stiil dry and have had no rain since march. Thank you for your comments and encouragement. Cheers, Bob |
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