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For Children


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A Minibeast Flea

By Katanga

08 May 2008

This is intended as a playful reply to 'The Cricket Choir'.

I found it difficult to write, as I don't have kids of my own . . .

Feedback welcome, especially if you can entertain a real child with it!

Cheers!

John

The Flea

Have you ever tried to catch a Flea?

It’s harder than it looks –

With a gleeful bound he’ll leap away

And hide behind your books!

One hundred and sixty thousand times

His own weight he can pull –

His wife can lay two thousand eggs,

Their family must be full!

He’s very fond of animals

And loves your pussycat!

So when poor Pussy’s scratching,

It’s a Flea! Well, fancy that!

Remember to wash your hair each day,

Or hang on to your hat –

A Flea loves children’s skin, you see

And you don’t know where he’s sat!

To find out more about our Flea

Just go on the Internet –

Google ‘Flea’ and look and see

The facts and figures you get!

Reviews

Written by mia_ms_kim (891 comments posted) 7th May 2008

Another fun and educative poem! The 2000 eggs positively frighten me! And I had no idea fleas were so strong.
Mia

Written by Josie (2496 comments posted) 8th May 2008

John, I would say that this is very good indeed. I know you've been studying Step;hen Fry's book and I see you have reached pp 62 - 63 - and you've put it into practice. Good try. This is very popular with children and I often use it. I have to tell you, though, that the last line doesn't have three iambic feet. Compare it to line four verse one and you'll see what I mean. Easily changed to make an excellent poem with very useful and interesting facts in it. I think that fleas and, in particular, nits would be a good topic in a classroom as most children do get them and hair hygiene would be important to discuss.

Last Line Amended
Written by Katanga (724 comments posted) 8th May 2008

Thank you Mia and Josie!

Hope the last line is better? I see I have six syllables in the final line of the first stanza, but seven in the final lines of the others.

I think it scans okay though - does it matter?

Written by Josie (2496 comments posted) 8th May 2008

A little more help John - and then you are on your own. ha ha.

First: Take the word "to" out of verse 4: ie:

Remember: Wash your hair each day

In actual fact washing your hair each day wouldn't make the slightest difference. The main thing is not to share combs, hats etc, but once one child has fleas, they can jump. Everyone seems to have them from school. Long hair resting on desks isn't a good idea.

Now about the last verse. Perhaps this will help you:

Try this:

To get more facts about the flea (four iambic feet)
Turn to the internet. (three iambic feet)
Google “flea” - You’ll be surprised (four iambic feet)
Exactly what you get. (three iambic feet)

PS (you might get a flea in your ear).

In other words: Perfect metre I would say.

Hope this helps. Plenty of practice from Stephen Fry's book will certainly help.

Iambic Shoes!
Written by Katanga (724 comments posted) 8th May 2008

Many thanks for this extra help, Josie.

Without wanting to appear disrespectful, I feel somehow that you are being perhaps too strict with your iambs?

Or maybe it's that, through experience, perfect iambic meter works best for children?

I would humbly give them more credit.

I had to write Latin verse at school ( cripes!) and I grappled with trochees, spondees, iambs and dactyls etc long into the small hours.

I don't really think that the syllable-count ( or 'perfect foot') is important, as long as the rythmic 'beat' remains intact. Guess I need to get back to my Fry!

The 'minibeast' poems rely more on spoken rythm than on the niceties of Latin verse - see 'The Owl and the Pussycat', in which the syllable-count is very irregular, but the 'beat' is perfect.

So yes, even you are happy to begin with a 'Trochaic' foot, stressed on the first syllable - 'Turn to the Internet' (stressing the 'to' would sound ridiculous!).

So, why can't I occasionally include a 'pyrrhic' foot?

These remarks are not a complaint - merely to keep you up to date with my less-than-expert ponderings!

Cheers!

John X Ooooooh! I feeel a minibeast poem coming on!

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