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By Brett
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08 May 2008 |
Not quite sure if this is finished, or whether I should take it further. Amongst the lichened gravestones,
his hobby to employ,
limps a man more ghost than bone;
the strange hobbledehoy.
At every plot he tends
the flowers at the heads
of the beds of his only friends,
the unforgotten dead.
His face betrays no pleasure,
no sorrow, pain, nor joy,
it is as tight as ashen leather
on the hobbledehoy.
I notice one small plot
at which he lingers more
so that the bones are not forgot
or easy to ignore.
We hit him in the back
when we were throwing stones;
no-one ran, no-one laughed.
He did not flinch or moan. |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (492 comments posted) 8th May 2008 | This has a gloomy, fairytale quality about it, just a portrait of somebody strange and different - it is the first line of the last stanza that shocks. We're talking about a real person in the real world, and the way that "ordinary" people react to him. Kids are horrible,really, even you, Brett bach! Well, at least you still remember it. | Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3169 comments posted) 8th May 2008 | I thought this a dark and quirky piece with dark hints [not least in the name] which raise a lot of questions, and just when it really gets really interesting and starts to provoke concern as well as curiosity you stop. Definitely unfinished in my opinion. You can't stop there. These sort of fables always have a resolution cheers jane | Dark and Mysterious Written by Katanga (802 comments posted) 8th May 2008 | Yes, I thoroughly agree with Jane above. A very visual poem - leathery skin, probably no teeth etc I really like it - drew me in like a vacuum cleaner, but left me feeling empty, vacant, needing more . . . e.g whose bones? Is it really about the hobbledehoy himself, grief in general made specific, or the innocent cruelty of schoolchildren? I think we need to know! Cheers! John
| Written by mia_ms_kim (915 comments posted) 8th May 2008 | I found this not so much dark, but sad and profound because I can easilyl imagine there would be people like the hobbledehoy in the world today. I found each stanza poignant. For me, this however wasn't painful, I don't know why. I think because hobbledehoy seems ok within himself. Perhaps his love for his friends though dead, and the one special one, gives his life deep meaning? The theme of "unforgotten dead" to me was powerful. The fact that their memories were kept alive by this ghostly half-man seems so much more impacting. I had to look up "hobbledehoy", and I'm a little lost with the term. To me the guy seems older, certainly not a youth. Anyway, very moved and strangely so. Mia | Written by Robru (139 comments posted) 9th May 2008 | | I do find this poem sad. Hobbledehoy is a term not used much in our local society, but I believe its a term used to describe a rather gawky young male in adolescence. Sad that one who has a close relationship with graves should be a target for stonethrowers. The writing is excellent and took me right in from the start to the finish. Well done. |
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