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Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 10th May 2008 |
| Well written Brett with lots of things left to think about. I am thinking of the poor folk out in Burma after their storm. I don't sense a calmer atmosphere for them. |
Rage, Brett!
Written by Katanga (1217 comments posted) 10th May 2008 |
Beautifully written - is this a common structure, or did you come up with this rhyme scheme? Really works for me anyway.
'I question if it's right to persevere.'
Bring on the forked lightning, Brett! After all,
'Old age should burn and rave at close of day.'
Cheers!
John |
Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 10th May 2008 |
Brett, I can assure you that my review will be one of the least technical that you are likely to receive, but… I really liked it.
All the best,
Steve.
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Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
| Nice poem, although I failed to get the deeper meaning i sensed there was... |
Written by mia_ms_kim (1017 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
I wonder if there is a sense a fear or trepidation that the storm is not really over. Being stranded in the calm, was a very interesting expression, I think something some of us can relate to. The fear of the calm strangely reminded me of the fear of fear itself. The thought of forked lightening that might "reappear" after the storm reinforces the image for me. The second stanza seems to be a private thought, and I don't understand the reference to Cain, (If this is the biblical Cain, then in what sense, I wonder, the first murderer, reprobate, brother-killer, the lost one etc???)
A very thought-provoking poem, Brett. Exercises my brain and inspires great curiosity.
Mia  |
Raising Cain?
Written by Katanga (1217 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
Yes, Mia, Hmmmmmm!
I can't speak for Brett, and I too am unsure about the meaning.
Without further research ( which, given time) I shallembark on, I think that 'raising Cain' alludes to the wild, angry, sometimes even murderous passion of youth, that we (thankfully? That's the point?) leave behind in the calmer waters of middle age.
Hmmmm - we need the man himself to straighten us out on this.
Where are you Brett? In the sunshine, I hope!?
Cheers!
T
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Katanga, on Cain
Written by mia_ms_kim (1017 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
Hmmm... I get it. It seems a plausible interpretation. Fear of resurrecting Cain, of unleashing the uncontrolled personality which perhaps can be likened to the lightening, an deadly element that man cannot control. Why forked lightening? Is it a reference to something more sinister???
Sorry, Brett, for going on and on. But this poem has me very intrigued.
Mia |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3351 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
| Writer's block??............No?....ah well just a guess. |
Thanks
Written by Brett (782 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
to everyone who commented. I don't have much of a wish to burble on regarding the content of my own work, suffice to say that Jane came closest - not so much writer's block, but whether one should write at all if they feel they have nothing to say (it was a somber, and all too sober, morning!).
But Mia you made some very valid remarks, as did Tolstoy (or Katanga to everyone else).
Cheers |
Oh, Tolstoy,
Written by Brett (782 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
I forgot. The form is Rondeau. Thanks for flatteringly thinking I could come up with a form like this.
Cheers |
Ah Yes!
Written by Katanga (1217 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
Now I get it - writer's block.
Thank you Jane!
What a relief! I thought it was much worse than that - writer's block is often no bad thing. What comes later can be so much better, a bit like ...
I won't go on - might be censored!
Ho!
Cheers!
John T |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (626 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
Seemed a little ominous. And I am sure you will always keep on writing, storms or not. Some of the best writing can come out of stormy situations in life.
Please can somebody tell me when Katanga became Tolstoy? Did I miss something?
Oh, and I don't think you are ready to be classed as middle aged, right, Brett? Not with the eleven o'clock edrinking and all. LOL |
Great Stuff!
Written by Katanga (1217 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
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Great Again!
Written by Katanga (1217 comments posted) 11th May 2008 |
Whoops! Hit the wrong buton in my enthusiasm for this poem!
Yes, Veronica, I know you've done the same!
I shall send you a pm about the Tolstoy thing - it's a good one that I don't want to share universally . . .
Cheers!
John X |
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