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For Children


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Jack the naughty Jack russell

By meadowcroft1964

10 May 2008

Just thought I give it a go

Jack the Jack Russell
Liked to run
Liked to play
he also liked
To stray away

He won't do
What he was told
Mother she would scold
He would not listen
No matter now she tried
She sat and cried and cried

Till there came the day
When Jack hid in the hay
Down between the bales he fell
The gap was as deep as any well
He could not get away at all
No listen to his call
Sol there he had to stay

When he was discovered
His hunger was uncovered

TOUGH HIS MAM SAID
That what naughty puppies deserve

Reviews

Written by Josie (2538 comments posted) 10th May 2008

This sounds like a typical Jack Russell. I've had one and they are nosey little creatures who want to investigate everything, just like your dog.

thanks
Written by meadowcroft1964 (82 comments posted) 10th May 2008

thank you for taking time to read do you think it any good for children or trash now trying to develop my writing skills.

Written by Josie (2538 comments posted) 10th May 2008

I have to tell you honestly. Children particularly like poems with a story - and yours has a story. They do, however, like a story which is written with rhyme and rhythm, in the style that I've done in my zebra story. You would need to go to Google and write: Metre - or Iambic metre, and read this, in order to write in this way. It is difficult, but, of course, I've written hundreds of poems this way and it gets better with practice. The other thing is this: Please read plenty of children's poetry. Read mine if you like. Children have told me they like it, so it should help if you copy the style. But you are doing fine Violet. We love having you on Great Writing and understand your difficulties. Keep trying. Don't give up.

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