First meeting

As I near my destination my heart starts to race , "can I do this?" I debate. My head spins with the what ifs's butt's and maybes, there to stop me, so it seems. I shake my head determined to cast them aside. I'm lost, if I allow them to win, I'd never pluck up the courage again. "What's to be so afraid of", I tell myself. A passing lady halts, turns towards me and asks. "Excuse me were you talking to me"? making me realise how stupid I must look, walking , talking to myself like this, I look away to hide my embarrassment . She'll think I've just been let out of the county, She gives a tut and walks on. "I'll end up there for certain the rate I'm carrying on, what's the problem anyway?". Stop! There I go again talking to myself. Reaching the kerbside, even through the road is clear I don't cross. My feet refuse to budge, as though they've become rooted to the spot. Panic rises when looking up my eyes fix on the building opposite. I must have gone mad! Why else would I put myself through this, and how can a building cause me so much fear? It's not like it's a law court and I'm going to be sentenced. Bricks and mortar, that's all. I start to cross but my feet seem to have taken on a mind of their own and refuse to move. A little voice inside me is telling me. "You just can't do this, you'll end up giggling, you always do, you giggle like a ten year old schoolgirl, having her first sex education lesson, and you know when you start, its nearly impossible for you to stop." I turn away from the kerb, my courage has left me. I take two steps, then stop,"oh sod it ,what's to loose?" and on that thought I cross the road and enter the building. I've made it to my writing class.